Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online
Hello Anna thanks for asking JA
are you in danger right now
Do you live in the same house as your ex?
let me know when you are online?
Thanks so much for working with me! I really enjoyed working with you.
Hello Anna and thanks for letting me know. Be patient with yourself. You did not know all this until you realized it. Don't be critical of what you did in the past, look into the future, you are becoming a different person and that is good. Yes most women need some space from the abuser because it is the only way to break the emotional abuse cycle. The abuser feels bad and becomes nice once in a while but can't change the cycle with the person abused. Your husband is sick and needs to heal without you. It is the most loving thing to say. You are not affecting your children negatively by staying away but the oposite. He has to learn how to control his anger if you will let him into their life, is not a punishment but you are protecting you children also. Your DV class counselor can give you resources where you can have supervised visitation or you can have a relative be with him when he visits. You being there is not adviced at this time. I really care and I have to tell you honestly that I went through this 25 years ago that is why I would like to help others. I know the feelings of low self esteem, thoughts that nobody cares, and feeling guilty for standing up for yourself. You deserve love and someone who treats you right. Healing yourself will give yourself and your children a better happier life. It takes time but it is worth it. You can ask me any question you want/
I am going to be online today.
You are wellcome Anna, I believe that things that do not kill us make us stronger. I know abuse is a terrible experience but eventually you will be a stronger kinder woman because you overcame this experience. Your feeling of rage will become one of empowerment and you will use your feelings of anger to not let anyone treat you that way again in the future. You will learn that you anger is an appropriate emotion teaching you how to protect yourself. You will learn how to express your anger to protect and express yourself. When you get angry ask yourself. Is someone trying to harm me? My kids? How can I express my feelings and needs to protect myself and direct my anger in a good way. You will start to use "I" statement to express yourself and ask for what you want and stop what you do not want.
It is the beginning of a new life. I think abuse patterns run in families, and you are learning how to overcome this and it will not go to the next generations. If you feel better my experience gave my daughters a great gift that they will not let anyone to abuse them. I think I broke the cycle of abuse and so will you!
I am very proud of you and you should be proud of yourself also.
This is not easy to do but you are doing it. Against all adds.
Thanks Anna, I am so happy that my answers are meaningful to you. Yes be patient with this process. Life is a marathon and not a spirint someone wise told me long ago. Let me know if you have any questions.