Hi! I'll be glad to be of help with this issue.
I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. You are clearly a loving and caring husband and you are doing your best to cope with a difficult situation. I wish I could say that your situation is rare, but it's not. Not by a long shot. And neither is your anger or frustration.
Post Partum Depression (PPD) is not a one size fits all type of illness. It can take different forms and different intensities. And it can last different amounts of time. It can be very severe. Now, your wife's lack of libido is very likely part of the PPD.
But it's important for the two of you not to assume that right off the bat. You need to make an appointment with her OB/GYN to discuss hormonal difficulties that might be resulting in the loss of sex drive first. It needs to be ruled out before deciding that the problem is PPD. And in fact, her PPD may be hormonally related as well and so that needs to be part of the assessment process as well.
Therefore, you both need to go in to the doctor so that there is a comprehensive view of what's going on presented to the doctor. Because, you see, with PPD she may be minimizing certain things she may bring up in discussing with the doctor because of the PPD's effect on her. So your being there will be important.
Then, once the hormonal treatment begins for the PPD if required, you two may need to consider psychotherapy for her to help her with the aggressive form of PPD she has. And you would want to go to therapy session with her so the two of you can work together on this. Right now, she needs to feel unified with you and you with her that you're both on the same side and not enemies, so to speak. So therapy can be very important in this.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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