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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1692
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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Dear Dr. Keane, (live chat)when I am out, say at a gathering

Resolved Question:

Dear Dr. Keane,(live chat) when I am out, say at a gathering “party” where I don’t know that many people I do talk to them quite okay but it is afterwards I often find that I then analyse myself and wonder about things like, did I talk about this okay or handle myself alright. I sort of remember what I wanted to talk about risk, it was something to do with about actually taking risk and about that risk either working out or not working out. I had a look for the movie Cloud Atlas. I remembered it being on at the cinema some time ago, but I missed it there. It is out on DVD here at the beginning of July, so I will try and rent it out then. So, come July I’ll be able to tell you then what I thought about it. I hope to talk to you again soon.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 1 year ago.

Dr.Keane : Hi, sorry I haven't been able to be here when you are. Risk, what you are questioning is exactly that. Risk is the uncertainty of an outcome so if you take a risk you are taking a chance that something will work out. You went to a gathering and spoke to people you did not know, what was the risk there? The part where you get "stuck" for lack of better word, is when you second guess yourself after the fact. That's when you say to yourself, enough, I did fine and move on. I'll try to check in later today when you are around, if you are around today.
Customer: Hi
Customer: yes I should be around for a good part of today now thanks.
Customer: I think that you've got it right, it is the part afterwards when I second guess. It's the moving on part I sometimes get "stuck" at. I mean I like to meet new people and talk to people who I don't know all the time, and those who I may have only seen once or twice.....I think that's why I analysed myself because a couple of the folk I don't see that often professionally, but saw them at the gathering, which was all fun. Just after I started to think things like did I conduct myself well etc. even though I am sure that I did.
Customer: I think I was also meaning risk in general too though, such as the fact I am looking to change job, well that's a risk. It wasn't until recently that I was thinking about how it may go right if I do, but then I was also thinking that it may not go right, the more I want something to happen. I hope on some level that makes sense.
Customer: I have to go and cook right now, but I will be back soon so that we can talk when and if you manage to get back online.
Customer: Okay, back on
Customer: I hope that we can chat.
Customer: I had a technical issue for awhile.
Customer: I am using a different computer in the meantime. Who would have thought technical issues would be so frustrating...
Customer: especially since I could see you were online but I couldn't log in properly into our chat.
Customer: I will try again on Friday if I may. I am very sorry to have missed you today.
Customer:

I will be sure to be back online by 4pm my time today.

Customer:

and hopefully minus the technical issues I experienced yesterday. I hope your week is going well and hope that you are well too.

Customer:

I am going to stay logged in for the moment as sometimes I have connectivity problems. I will be back 11 am your time (4pm my time) and will type that I am back when I am able to return to my computer. It's the only solution I can think of at the moment so at least there may be a chance of if you are online when I am able to be for us to chat. So, hopefully talk to you later if you schedule matches.

Customer:

Okay I am online and will try to be as long as possible.

Customer:

I have to be away from the computer for a bit but will say when I am back.

Customer:

Okay I am back online and I'll see if schedules work out.

Customer:

Hi

Customer:

sorry to have missed you yesterday

Customer:

I just couldn't re-connect.

Dr.Keane :

it's okay, I was hoping to catch you yesterday but today is good!

Customer:

thank you, XXXXX XXXXX felt terrible about that.

Dr.Keane :

You are right, it's a risk to leave your current job for a new one, but you can't worry about the "what if's", if you did you'd never try anything different.

Customer:

you see, that I know and yet I sometimes have these what ifs, more like the type of what if it didn't work out. This is of course assuming one day I am actually accepted for a new job. At the same time I really want and need something new, or even same job title but different place where there are just more hours.

Dr.Keane :

It's a way of looking at opportunity, if it's not a good fit or doesn't work out....so what? you just move on to the next opportunity. You are ready, even if you feel it's risky, think about it this way, it could be more risky to not try. Then you'd be stuck in this part time job

Customer:

I do sometimes look at what I do and have done and at times thing about if I didn't try this or that then I would not have experienced anything that I have had the opportunity to experience.

Dr.Keane :

have to just keep applying and applying until you find the job that will give you more time and a different environment.

Customer:

That is true, it is much more risky not to be at least applying and then seeing what the outcome is. Hadn't thought about it like that.

Dr.Keane :

I believe you have to look at things from many different views, and try and stay away from the negatives, acknowledge they exist and finding a job may not be smooth, but then just keep looking and trying, you'll find the right place.

Customer:

Oh whilst I think about it. One good thing today was that I managed to handle and deal with a person who I don't particularly get on with and neither does anyone else, in a better way than what I ever have done before. I was quite pleased about that.

Dr.Keane :

You would probably do well to write it down, since you are a writer, list all possible outcomes, try and look at it objectively...if it wasn't you applying and see what you come up with, it's a good exercise!!!

Customer:

okay.

Dr.Keane :

That's great, you learned how to deal with a particular personality, a difficult one and succeeded....

Customer:

just remembered all the things you taught me, and it just came.

Dr.Keane :

You learn fast and well...

Customer:

I try to do my best as I appreciate and respect all that you do for me.

Customer:

I missed the movie Cloud Atlas when it was at the cinema but should be out on DVD here by July, so I will be able to take a look at it then and let you know what I think of it.

Dr.Keane :

It's about not automatically reacting to situations expecting something negative or feeling the need to defend yourself, you don't need to do that...and thank you, XXXXX XXXXX when someone wants to listen and learn!!!

Dr.Keane :

I had to watch it twice to make sure I understood the entire plot, first time I was charmed, second time I thought it had a few powerful messages, not reality but interesting.

Dr.Keane :

something to think about, that's what it was

Dr.Keane :

Midwives is over, enjoyed it.

Customer:

good, I am glad I give you an easy time, I guess you get some clients who don't want to learn so easily.

Customer:

I am hoping there will be another season of Midwives, There are 3 books after all.

Dr.Keane :

It runs the gamut, some people are not ready to make changes, some are more than ready.

Customer:

Glad you liked the second season of Midwives.

Dr.Keane :

I think there is one more season which is fine, I don't like it when a series goes on for too long.

Customer:

I'm like that. I watched something for long enough once, no idea how it all finished. May have been House as it became too much the same. There are some long running series here which I do follow but only a couple.

Customer:

Usually it's shorter things I watch too.

Dr.Keane :

House is a good example of one that went too long! I watched it for awhile but it got stale. I hope you have a good weekend, it's a holiday here, a quiet one.Looking forward to it.

Customer:

Are you doing anything nice on the holiday?

Dr.Keane :

absolutely nothing, my choice! that is as nice as it gets!!!

Customer:

that does sound very nice indeed!!!

Customer:

Sometimes it is nice to do nothing at all and just let the days pass by and relax.

Dr.Keane :

sure does. I have to go so have a good evening and enjoy your weekend too!

Dr.Keane :

Don't forget to write....

Customer:

Enjoy your holiday. Talk to you soon.

Dr.Keane :

:)

Customer:

I will let you know how the list goes.

Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1692
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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