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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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whats wrong with me?

Customer Question

what's wrong with me? I want to be a baby again. I want it so badly that it hurts. I think I've got infantilism...........is that bad?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Dear Toes,
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I will try one more time. If you don't want me to help you, simply RELIST the question.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I think I know why you gave me the negative rating:
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Because baby was in charge.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : What say you?
Customer: .....................wut rong wyth Baby in chrg?
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : If you are the strong one, Baby, then you are in charge. You're the boss. I take my hat off to you. :)
Customer: soree...............baby gotid trigrd frum convrsashun wyth sumwun
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : :)
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : How can I help you today, Baby?
Customer: baby struglyng.................wana hert
Customer: baby skard
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Don't be scared Baby. Everything will be OK.
Customer: wana b owt al tymz
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Does that make it hard to do?
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : It is scary out there.
Customer: ya
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Do you think you can do it?
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : What will Toes do?
Customer: baby wana get baby botlz..........
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : And take outside with you?
Customer: duno wut toes wud du
Customer: ya
Customer: baby litl
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Is Toes skard?
Customer: ya................
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : why?
Customer: toes thynkz babyz rong...............thet babyz to lilt
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : what du yu thynk?
Customer: i wana b owt al thu tym
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : so toes is in al thu tym?
Customer: ya!!!!
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Fun for U but not for toes, yu thynk?
Customer: ya....................................................
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Will she be sad?
Customer: ya
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : is that wat u want 4 toes?
Customer: nowun seeeeeez baby..........onli toes................nowun noz Baby sept u n terpist
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I see ! ! !
Customer: wana hav evreewun seeeeee
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : So U want 2 be out in werld now. Its yur tern?
Customer: ya!!!!!!!!
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Do you think that you can get around like that? Will it work?
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Have you tried it yet?
Customer: uh oh................................toes iz getyng konfuzd..........n maddd
Customer: wana tri
Customer: tri b baby alwaz
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Tri and see wat happenz
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : tri it and see if u like it.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Do u like therapist?
Customer: nowun asepts baby...............speshuleee Mom....................sheee no lyk baby
Customer: ya, baby lyk terpist
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I lyk baby.
Customer: releeeeee?
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Yes I do. She is sweet and smart.
Customer: yay!!!!!!!!!!
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : :) :) :) :)
Customer: heheheheheheeee
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I like to hear you laff
Customer: meeeee to
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : What are you going to do about Mom?
Customer: uh oh..........................................................................................................gotz ta gow....................baby getyng skard mor
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Big hug to you baby. Don't be skard.
Customer: ni ni
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : gnite to u to sweet baby
Customer: hi elliott...................sorry, I'm so confused right now
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Hi Toes.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I had a nice chat with Baby.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : She wants to be the boss.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I hate to see a battle between you.
Customer: like I said in my question...............my desire to be a kid again is so strong it hurts.............................I just can't ignore her anymore
Customer: I just don't know what to do
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : You cannot ignore her. She is very strong and very needy.
Customer: u can say that again, lol
Customer: anyway, would you let her be in charge for a while, or would you resist?
Customer: not sure what to do
Customer: I want to ignore and resist her but she's so demanding
Customer: my body physically aches when she's wanting something
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Let he be in charge and see what kind of feedback she gets in the outside world. She is terrified of authority figures, especially you mom.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : And giving in eases the pain?
Customer: yeah......................Mom just doesn't understand me or what I'm going through
Customer: it does, actually
Customer: why oh why does it hurt so much??????????????????????
Customer: I'm in soooooooo much pain right now, emotionally
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : You were traumatized when you were young
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : ?
Customer: yes, that's true
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : It is a need to recapture that period of your life that was hurt by your trauma, and make it whole again.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Have you ever had hypnotherapy?
Customer: will I ever be able to do that, Elliott?
Customer: no, I haven't
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I believe that you will be able to integrate your lost childhood innocence with you mostly functional and coherent adult woman.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : your
Customer: I'm so thankful for your vote of confidence................
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I don't know much about it, except that it very helpful for many with DID.
Customer: on nights like tonight when I'm in pain with everything, it's nice to know someone cares
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I care. I got scared that you didn't want to talk to me anymore. You have become like a friend.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I am glad I can give you some comfort.
Customer: oh, I'm sorry, Elliott..............I didn't mean to scare you at all................I'm just so confused right now
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Have you ever tried any benzodiazepine antianxiety medications, namely: alprazolam (Xanax), diazepam (Valium), clonazepam (Klonopin) or lorazepam (Ativan)?
Customer: please forgive me for anything I may have done
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Absolutely 100%. I am glad to be your friend.
Customer: I have a prescription for ativan
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : And how do you take it?
Customer: I only take it when I need it
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Do you need something that acts more quickly?
Customer: but I can't take it now........................................I'm too much of an emotional wreck to face my Mom and try and explain why I need it right now
Customer: possibly
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : So mom holds the pills.
Customer: yup. it's a safeguard so I dont' OD
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Xanax will work faster and may be better. Generically it is called alprazolam which sounds like lorazepam (Ativan) and is less scary sounding than Xanax.
Customer: which, of course, is a great thing.........most of the time
Customer: ok, I'll look into it..............
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I have read that Xanax is less harmful or addictive than Ativan, but they both can be.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Is your mom part of the problem?
Customer: In fact, I'm going to go call my psychiatrist and talk to her to see if she recommends anything.........
Customer: yes, unfortunately, she is.......................she doesn't believe I was molested, doesn't believe I have DID, and refuses to acknowledge Baby
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : My thinking is that is will "put out the fire" caused by baby a lot more quickly and save you some anxiety suffering.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Who molested you?
Customer: her brother
Customer: so, it's not a surprise she's defending him................but it still hurts
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : and she really doesn't believe it or is she in denial (meaning she knows it but won't admit it to herself)?
Customer: idk..................she won't acknowledge it for sure
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Does she have guardianship over you?
Customer: and if she maybe has any doubts whether I was molested or not, it most certainly was not her brother..............................possibly (a very slim possibly) it was someone else, but not her brother
Customer: well, yes, I guess so. I still live at home and have to live by her rules and expectations
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : It is important that she at least acknowledge that you were molested.
Customer: she says "those were medical experiences you misinterpreted as a child"
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : But she has control of your meds? By agreement with you?
Customer: "yes, I gave up my meds so I wouldn't OD
Customer: I didn't want her to lose a daughter
Customer: and thought it best that I don't have access to my meds
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : That's fair enough.
Customer: so, I'm stuck depending on her
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : You have to make the best of it.
Customer: right........................I just don't know how
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Would she read a book about DID?
Customer: I just wish she would/could understand what I'm going through
Customer: she has, actually..................that still didn't help her in knowing how to deal with it in me
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : She should at least be able to accept it.
Customer: I know..................but she refuses to acknowledge it..........
Customer: so, I'm stuck trying to always suppress Baby when I'm around her
Customer: that's why Baby is so adamant when she finally gets a voice
Customer: only in therapy can Baby safely express herself
Customer: or on here, with you
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Try these two books, if you wish:
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder by Olga Trujillo JD
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : http://www.amazon.com/The-Sum-Parts-Survivors-Dissociative/dp/1572249919/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1369019147&sr=8-2&keywords=dissociative+identity+disorder
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : and
Customer: anything I can possibly do to help my Mom understand me is much appreciated
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : and this one
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook (Sourcebooks) by Deborah Haddock
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : http://www.amazon.com/Dissociative-Identity-Disorder-Sourcebook-Sourcebooks/dp/0737303948/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369019147&sr=8-1&keywords=dissociative+identity+disorder
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : I hope this helps make a start
Customer: ok..............well, I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated our chat but I need to get going..........................you take care and I'll be in touch
Customer: thanks for everything
Customer: !!!!!!
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : OK.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : You are welcome. God bless.
Customer: I so appreciate you, Elliott. thanks. you too
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Elliott,


against my better judgement, I let Baby get a baby bottle today......................I can't describe the mix of emotions that's brought me........happiness, sadness, excitement..............shame, guilt, disgust.........fear................embarrassment. can we talk?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Of course.

I understand your mixture of feelings. Now you can go down this path and see where it leads and who is going to be the boss. You are being accommodating but you may not like this and take the lead.

Get back to me and we shall continue.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

a part of me (Baby, I imagine) so wants this experience...............my therapist told me Wednesday that I apparently missed a lot in my childhood and I'm trying to make up for it now......but she also said it is not likely that I'll get what I'm looking for in a bottle of milk.........what say you to that? So far, I'm letting Baby take the lead............at least for now

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Toes,

The only way to make up for some of your missed babyhood is to plunge and and take the crash course. Baby needs that bottle experience so that she can then have the weaning experience and then - hopefully - reunification.

I think its fine. LIke breastfeeding it is probably the most relaxing in the privacy of your own home.

I think that this will work out well and that baby will appreciate the experience and then move on. Baby knows that one day soon she will become a big girl and will prefer a better means of drinking..

You two behave yourself and and enjoy your bottle experience.

Warm regads,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

thanks. I appreciate your response. I hope some day (soon) Baby will outgrow her need for the bottle.............

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
She will outgrow it. I think she needs to be spoiled a little bit - or at least indulged. I think that's the best way to handle her. Give her the freedom to explore and grow and she will then develop the sense of security and maturity to join with you as one.

She doesn't want to be out all of the time but she wants to feel she is allowed to be out. This will make her feel that she has control and power and will not have to fight for it.

I wish you continued success. You are handling this so well.

Warm regards, dear Toes.


Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

what you are telling me is similar to what my therapist says. She says that if I love and take care of Baby, Baby won't be so demanding and needy. And if I give her regular time, she won't feel the need to barge her way out and take over like she's been doing lately.


Thanks for being there to listen to and encourage us.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Toes,

It is so nice when everyone is on the page. You put it so very eloquently, however. I agree with your therapist and believe that you just need to be a good "mom" to her, and she will be respectedful and understand her place in the scheme of things. I'm sure that you will succeed.

Best wishes,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I appreciate your kind words....................thanks

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
God bless you toes. And baby too. :)


Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Elliott,


So.........Baby now has a bottle, some books (more on the way) and two pacifiers..........


I'm (Toes) so embarrassed and ashamed of the fact. I don't know what to do. I've had to lie a few times about things to cover up Baby's actions. And I feel like I have to sneak around just so that Baby can have some time to herself. Any suggestions on how I could possibly address this with my family/roommates so I don't have to hide anymore?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Toes,

You will have to educate everyone so that they understand what is going on.

I have a couple of books for you that will give you some ideas on how to approach this.

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Got Parts? An Insider's Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder (New Horizons...

and one more:

 

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The D.I.D. Survival Guide: Start Living Now! (Healthy Living Now) by Vicky Bovary


Let your roommates and family know about baby. Don't be afraid to let baby interact with your roommates after first explaining to them that this a disorder caused by earlier trauma and abuse and to take you seriously but not judge you harshly.

If they are similar to you then they will be supportive.

You will probably want some privacy for baby so as not to embarrass your roommates, but having them understand you will make it a lot easier. At least you will not have to lie.

If Baby appears when you are suffering more from depression, then increased antidepressant use might help keep her in check.

If Baby appear when you are suffering more from anxiety, then perhaps taking a small dose of an antianxiety drug can keep her in check.

A psychiatrist friend of mine used to prescribe from 0.25 to 0.5 mg. alprazolam, but only as needed. Talk to your psychiatrist about this approach.

Try not to give in to Baby too much. Sometimes the adult needs to be in charge and the baby put back in her crib for some needed sleep.

I wish you continued blessings and I am supporting you as best I can. You are always in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Elliott


Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I will look into those books and then take your recommendations on introducing Baby to my family. I appreciate your guidance and friendship!

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
And I appreciate your friendship and trust as well. God bless.

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

elliott


I hate to bring this up.........but one of my other alters has a new obsession now........Idk what to think of it...............she's gotten several books related to the topic............are all my alters going to go through this phase of having an obsession???? I sure hope not. I shudder to think about what Fred's obsession might be.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Toes,

You may bring anything up with me that you like. I will always listen and never judge.
my "alters" are the three monkeys: See-No-Evil, Hear-No-Evil, and Speak-No-Evil.

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You have to gently coax them away from obsessive thoughts and particularly compulsive behavior in response to these thoughts.

You need to get you a book as well and help Fred and Baby understand about these thoughts and how to control them.

Here is a book for you to order and use to help the situation get better:

This one is for Baby:

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What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD (What-to-Do Guides for Kids) by Dawn Huebner and Bonnie Matthews


For the big kids (adults) there is:

 

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The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Bruce M. Hyman PhD LCSW and Cherlene Pedrick RN



I hope this helps.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Elliott


Thanks for making me smile with your alters...I'm going to look those books up for everyone. By the way, Fred is only 8.........so the same book that works for Baby will probably work for him............

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
You have a tough time. It is motherhood for you and you must exercise some tought love.

:)

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

yes.......for sure.........and I'm not sure how to do it or where to draw the line

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
The line is: Someone has to be in charge, and that someone is YOU!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

lol....................ok, I get the point............I'll do my best.......But it's hard when there are so many people inside my mind and body

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
You have a tough job but you are Toes with a big T and you have to be Tough.

Warm regards XXX XXXXXXXX dreams.

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

thanks, Elliott

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
:)

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