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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I need help.............I have feelings for my therapist..........strong

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I need help.............I have feelings for my therapist..........strong feelings..........she touched my tummy once per my request but now I want things to progress further. Should I switch therapists or try and work it out with the one I've got?

Rafael M.T.Therapist : Hello, thank you for requesting my support. I am sorry to know this has happened with your current therapist.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Have you already discussed with your therapist about your feelings?
Customer: briefly, yes
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Then you have directly told your therapist what you feel and expect, and what was the response you got?
Rafael M.T.Therapist : In most situations where a client develops feelings for a therapist, the assertive approach is to address such feelings discussing about them in therapy sessions. This i snot uncommon experience, and it needs and should be approached in therapeutic ways, thus it's not the best option to just withdraw therapy and look for another therapist, without having first worked on this concern with present therapist.
Customer: yes............I told her I wanted to go further than we've already gone...............she hasn't really addressed my feelings towards her yet
Rafael M.T.Therapist : It would be wise to look for another therapist inc case present therapist is unable to handle such situation in therapeutic ways, because of lack of competence and experience around transference issues.
Customer: ok, thanks
Rafael M.T.Therapist : How long ago did you tell her about it and how many sessions have you had since then?
Customer: well, I've only been seeing her about two months.................I think this incident happened during week 4 session.................been going right on with sessions since then
Rafael M.T.Therapist : You're welcome. Please be aware that therapist without enough sound competence and experience could not know how to play a therapeutic, ethical role in such a situation, in that case it would be necessary to look for another more competent and experience therapist, making her-him know from the very beginning about these issues in order to prevent similar situations.
Customer: ok
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Then I think this therapist could not be experienced and competent enough to support you the way you need and deserve, otherwise she would have addressed it right away as soon as you told her about it. Her passivity shows lack of competence and neglect as a professional which is unethical, since she's keeping you as a client while not doing therapeutic work necessary to address this issue.
Customer: problem is..............I'm torn.................I wanted her to touch me................but now I'm having thoughts and feelings I really don't want
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Please read about |dual relationships", for you to understand how unacceptable it is for a therapist to remain passive in a scenario like this. You are absolutely right feeling this concerned, and it is not fair for you to remain feeling this way why the very person who is supposed to support you to take better care of yourself and rehabilitate is being this neglectful.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : You already have tough challenges to cope with around your addictive-obsessive disorder, and you cannot afford adding an extra serious issue from the very person who is supposed to effectively support you in your rehabilitation process. When a therapist find herself unable to provide sound support, such therapist must refer client to a more competent and experienced clinician.
Customer: ok.............thanks for your advice..............I would love to continue this conversation, but I need to get going for now
Rafael M.T.Therapist : You're welcome. Take gentle care. Thank you for your trust.
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