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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I am at the moment a private English teacher here in Brazil.

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I am at the moment a private English teacher here in Brazil. One of my students husband is an alcoholic. She has try in many ways to help her husband but has had no success. He managed to stop for about 6 months and has returned to drinking. Is there in your opinion any way that I can by being an outsider. Thank you Moira

Rafael M.T.Therapist : Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
Rafael M.T.Therapist : I am sorry to know about your student's serious situation.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : As you said, you are an outsider, whether you happen to be a foreigner or not, in Brazilian culture families presenting dysfunctions this serious, including addictions, would not react in positive ways to anybody trying to interfere in their personal or family lives. Thus your fears are very realistic around what could happen in your relationship with your student.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : In every addiction, the addictive system, in this case her family-husband would do everything in his power to protect his addiction and everything perpetuating it. You need to assess the pros and cons of each one of your options, being very realistic and willing to afford the consequences of your choice.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Many times people in your shoes do prefer not to push the situation in order to keep close communication and present relationship, through which you would be able to continue to support her with your insight, emotional and psychological support. Then it'd be up to her to look for local support, from healthy friends and family, community organizations and from counseling, all of them necessary in scenarios like this.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Does it make sense?
Customer: Yes, but I have learnt here that there is no way for him to be put in any kind of rehabilitation without the direct family signing for it, in other words the wife has no say. She has called for professionals to come to her house and he has been seen by the full team of the clink and nothing could be done because he is not willing to go and his family will not sign anything to put him through rehab. i.e. mother and brothers
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Nowadays in many countries in America, including South America, the same way it works in the States, there is no way anybody could force or be entitled with the right to choose if an adult person, who is not mentally disable, with alcoholism, would attend or not an inpatient program or any form of therapeutic treatment. He is the only one with the power, right and responsibility to choose if he wants to work on his rehabilitation process or not. Even in the case, like used to happen in the past, that an adult person like him got to be forced into treatment, that would not help much, since it is not through pushing a addicted person, unwilling to leave his addiction, that such person would start his real rehabilitation process, which is a very challenging and long life process.
Rafael M.T.Therapist : Thus she would need to assess what she is willing to afford in her situation, in consistency with her core value and belief systems, but also willing to re-evaluate them, taking into account her reality, and her core needs and expectations in the present and for the future.
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