Hello, sorry to keep you waiting. It's very interesting to me and those of us in the mental health field how many emotional issues manifest physically. Anxiety is one of those things that tend to hit us physically. There's lots of stress
hormones that kick in when we are anxious. Children are often seen in counseling because they have gone to the doctor for stomach aches, headaches- nothing physical found, such as for you.
You are on to something with the grief and loss related to the traumatic loss of your mother. Close to tears- allow those tears, keeping that in can cause ongoing physical issues, including trouble sleeping
It's very intriguing that this happens at a certain time at night. You describe it as a small prism-ish thing. May that be your mind "projecting" in order for you to take notice. Our bodies start to talk to us when overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious.
Consider journal writing before that time when the prism appears- that sound sort of magical at the same time. Give that prism a place to process, that may include crying, grieving. Writing and or talking to a trusted person is a good place to start. You may consider seeking out a counselor if you struggle with this on your own. The use of guided imagery with this prism may be beneficial. Ask yourself what that prism represents, even going so far as to giving it a color, an identity of sorts. It's communicating something to you. Unresolved grief and loss may be underlying this. It may be well worth your time and energy to focus in more of the grief. It is so very painful, for sure, but it will not just simply go away. You need to honor your emotions, give yourself permission to "feel"- it's okay to cry- that is cleansing- healing. Water represents healing.
Please let me know if you have other comments or questions. Thank you for your post. Best wishes on your road to healing. You can and will get better- it's like putting a puzzle together sometimes, takes time, and process to work it out. A true healer with grief is sharing with someone, having support, and of course, time.
I look forward to hearing any other comments you may have.