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Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
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Experience:  Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
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A family member has been diagnosed OKMH515211

Resolved Question:

A family member has been diagnosed with Narcissistic, Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders from two letters he wrote to a young girl 46 years younger than he with whom he was having an affair although he was married with 4 children. This was one of many affairs, the others being casual so to his mind did not count but he "fell in love" with this girl and relentlessly pursued her even though she had a restraining order against him after her parents found out about the affair. Is it possible to make a diagnosis from letters. I have read the letters and even to my mind they appear not to have been written by a sound mind. What is the difference between a psychopath and a narcissist?

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.

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My name is XXXXX XXXXX I am the moderator for this topic. I've been trying to find a professional to assist you, but sometimes finding the right professional can take a little longer than expected, as the professionals come online at varying times. I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!

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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I am quite happy to wait for an answer, thank you.

Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.

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Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.

Hello, I have been practicing psychotherapy for over 20 years and am happy to respond to your question. It is not possible to make an accurate differential diagnosis of someone without seeing them in person for a thorough mental health evaluation. But from the information you have provided, this man certainly has serious mental health issues. I am assuming that you showed the two letters to the psychologist you refer to and I imagine after reading them, he/she made an initial hypothesis of possible diagnosis, but not final diagnosis. If your family member could be seen in person for several sessions, the psychologist would determine which one of the three, NPD, Bi-Polar or BPD is the appropriate diagnosis. As to your last question, someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is totally self-centered, manipulative and has no empathy for others, but he will not harm others, commit murder. Someone with NPD usually abides by the laws and rules of society. A psychopath has no moral compass and is capable of murder, mass murder. For example the Boston bombers etc., are psychopaths. I hope this is helpful. Chat back if you have any questions. Take care, Eleanor

Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience: Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
Ask Eleanor and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He has killed a person although his defence in court was that he did not know that person was hiding in some reeds when he shot into the reeds and hit him. He was found . guilty of gross negligence and fined by the court. Knowing now that he is a pathological liar I very much doubt that he told the truth in court. He also breaks the law all the time in minor ways such as reckless and fast driving etc. He has put me and my children in very dangerous situations many times. He also took no notice of the restraining order placed on him and was continually visiting places like the local gym or the girl's church or workplace so that he would "bump"into her. The two of them became religious fanatics and were studying the bible and praising God while fornicating. He reckoned that he had reached a new level of Christianity which he had never experienced before through her. He also attends church twice a Sunday and reads his bible every day. Is this religious fanacticsm common amongst people suffering from mental disorders The letters he wrote were full of fantasies about him being a leader of Christianity in the area with her at his side helping him and showing everybody what true "love" is all about.
Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 1 year ago.
Hello again, I have just now seen your follow-up question, sorry I did not reply sooner. This man definitely has psychosis, perhaps schizophrenia for which religious fanaticism is a common symptom. The botXXXXX XXXXXne is that, whatever his precise diagnosis might be if he were to see a psychiatrist, he is dangerous. Keep yourself and your children away from him and do not hesitate to call the police to enforce the restraining order. I know you want to understand exactly what is going on with him, but I would stop focusing on that question. Instead, focus your energies on yourself and your children and staying safe. Chat back if you have any more questions. Take care of yourself, Eleanor
Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience: Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
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