You ask, do a lot of therapists act this way in their private lives? Meaning do we hang out in dark places and drink heavily and ignore other's needs? I can't truly answer that one. We all have our ways of socializing and releasing stress
and such; I can't really say that it is common or not, and I have never met the one you speak of, but many of us just look for the balance in life, I suppose. A little fun, a little work, and a sometimes the pendulum swings more strongly in one direction or the other. But let's not try to figure her out so much anymore--- let's see if we can identify what triggered you.
From my vantage point, I think the triggers were: being led (and making the choice to go) in a direction you felt was unsafe based on advice from others you have trusted in the past, then being abandoned by someone you wanted to trust (although you really didn't have enough information about her to trust her just yet), being firmly and somewhat coldly rejected and ignored after expressing your feelings, and now trying to pick yourself up and put yourself back together.
I always say, "look for the lesson" whenever life gives me a little wake-up call like this one. So, if you can learn something from this experience, what would it be? Maybe you have learned that you might try holding back on sharing personal anxieties with someone before you truly have developed a trusting, reciprocal relationship with a woman over time? Get to know someone by discussing casual, simple subjects first--- hobbies, travel experiences, education, local issues, where you grew up, etc. as opposed to very personal things? Maybe it might be to follow your intuition and when it gives you a warning signal, to stop and consider it? Maybe it might be that you put a great deal of trust in therapists and that now you know that there are some in the world that don't always practice what they preach, you might want to put more trust in yourself and your own inner voice as first priority, and in ours next? Only you will know what the lesson is, and lessons like these sting, but are necessary to our growth as people.
You sound like a wonderful, gentle, kind and caring person. You had a run-in with someone who has a much harsher exterior (we don't really know much about her interior) than you do. Your challenge is to tell yourself that her reaction says more about her than it does about you, and that you will grow from this experience, use it as a learning tool, and move on. We have no power to change anyone but ourselves--- and so don't give her anymore of your power by ruminating over her any longer. Live, learn from things, and then move on. As the wise fish Nemo said, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" There are too many fish in this big sea to lose anymore sleep over this one with a sharp stinging bite! She is behind you now, and the whole sea is in front of you!