April 26, 2013 10:28 PM EST
I am at my wits end. My normally very stable husband is having issues. He seems to be very paranoid and thinks his co-workers are out to get him. It all started 3 weeks ago. He called and said he made a mistake at work and he expected to be fired that day. But as he explained his mistake it was apparent people would have to actively put their jobs at risk to sabotage him. Just not realistic. He gave other examples and they all pretty much added up to the same thing. He had loved his job. We just moved here (VA) from Hawaii (for 2.5 years). He transferred here from a terrible boss. The HI job was pretty traumatic. He thinks the VA team has been working with the HI team to get him fired by sabotaging him when we moved here in AUG. Last night he even said he was scared they would try to sabotage my job. Just could not happen, I work with a completely different organization. He said they all had connections.
I tell him the truth: that it does not make sense to me and sounds paranoid. We went to his home in Oklahoma for a week last week. His father agreed and his step-mother explained that when his father was fired from a job he assumed he was going to be fired from every job after.
He wants to quit before this job can fire him. But I think he is not thinking clearly and should not make major decisions right now.
All his performance reports are excellent, in FEB they gave him a money and time off performance award, and he asked his supervisor last week how he was doing and he said just fine but he needed to relax. He has never been written up, fired, or even told his performance was below normal. But if this continues it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy as he pulls away from co-workers.
He is living in extreme stress
and feels each day that they will fire him.
My emotions are in such turmoil. What if they are making a case against him at work? How can we make it financially if he quits, is he going crazy, am I not giving him the support and love he needs?
I have him applying to new jobs, this is giving him hope. We also signed up for the union and will see a lawyer. I am trying to ensure he has stress releiving activities everyday (exercise, down time, and meditation
He had PTSD (undiagnosed) from Iraq and quit the Air Force instead of dealing with it in 2006. We moved to South Korea in 2007 and he had a mid-life crisis and cheated.
His grandmother had a “nervous breakdown” in her 40s and so did
his mother. He keeps promising to go to therapy but puts it off. I think he is transposing his traumatic experiences from Hawaii to this job. But his paranoia is really freaking me out.
What should/can I do?
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC : You must get him to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible.
My husband is now seeing a counselor and Psychologist and started taking meds for severe depression/anxiety
(Lexapro and Xanax). He started his meds today.
This started around 1 April and had gotten truly scary by the time I contacted you 26 April. But after only a 3 counseling sessions (I attended two with him) he went from extreme anxiety, depression, and paranoia to being himself again. It was like a light switch being flipped. He said when he was explaining to the counselor what he had been thinking, he was embarrassed and knew it was not logical. He also said he felt like a visitor in his life after being gone for almost a month. He had two good days (WED and THUR). Now today (FRI) he is back to the anxiety, depression, and paranoia. I do need to also say he did not seem manic: he slept normal, talking at a normal speed, was not impulsive.
Is this normal with severe depression/anxiety to have the flip switch and have a couple of good days?
Should we go see his medical doctor too? Chad has had anxiety issues his whole life but this extreme decline is completely out of the ordinary. Should I see a neurologist of his family doctor to ensure there isn’t a medical cause?