I have a 23 yr old son 9younger) who is feeling down, depressed and unmotivated. he was at university and after 2 1/2 years wasnt too sure if he wanted to study and thought of quitting approx 2010.
My husband impulsively told him to leave and join him in his business for a few years (deciding for him). then in 2011 my husband got a business for my two sons (with good intentions- and a lot of business knowledge) hoping they will make a go and set themselves up financially. the elder son is 26 my husband is difficult, demanding, controlling and wanted things his way always interfered in the business often screaming and swearing the boys and being verbally abusive. My husband can be quiet at times but also has a temper problem. after two years of hell my elder son (a journalist by profession) left the business end of march 2013> My younger son actually wanted out of the business in Dec 2012 already, but my elder son "wanted out". he is the headstrong one like his father. the business saw my two children not agreeing in the business - with 2 different personalities, styles of management, pointing fingers at each other for things not being done. Its been a nightmare
. In the two yrs the boys were down and depressed and very unhappy. we tried a business life coach, counselling but they never made use of the opportunity, and the conflict just got worst. All of this was exacerbated by their father's temperament and lack of leadership and respect for the boys. My husband has also been on medication for depression until now.
the elder one (26) is currently doing a course and wants to go abroad (i think he felt the only way to get out of his father's control is to leave the country> i/we have assured him if he doesnt want to go abroad he should move out. he is the social gutsy one and has many talents and enjoys challenges. so it seems he is on his way and journey
My 23 yr old son im worried about. in all the conflict he was depressed and on anti depressants for a while last year. he then stopped it since he felt nothing was changing at home and the environment. since end of last year we have been having some family sessions. My son is also going to be leaving the business very soon - told his father of his decision and wants to be out pretty soon. It is largely due to my husbands attitude and disrespect for the children combined with his temper and "expectations" of the children.
My 23 yr old says he feels very down, depressed, sad
and his body is tired and emotionally he is in distress. I did
recommend he sees a psychiatrist again. he is still at the business running it on his own and we helping out where we can (the hours are long hours). I have arranged some psychometric testing in this week to give him some guidance and hope. he could resume his studies and complete his degree but hes not sure if he wants to go back. He feels he hasnt achieved and doesnt have anything he can account for. the business was all consuming,> he feels theres no hope, cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel, even though i encourage him and try to motivate him. I need some help, we are in a complicated situation- with the boys resenting their father and wanting autonomy and independence-- yet scared of venturing out there especially the younger one.