..I've changed my mind. Trying to cancel...
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help you.You have been dealing with your narcissistic mother long enough to understand that you have been one of her chief sources of narcissistic supply for many years. She THRIVES when you feel badly. She does not care how you feel because she is a sociopath and is unable to have empathy for others.
What must be first and foremost in your life is how you feel. Agonizing over this alleged rape will not help you or her.
In fact, whatever she tells you may or may not be true, as all narcissists are liars and con-artists.
Perhaps she had an affair with someone, accused him of wronging her and milked that for all the narcissistic supply she could get from it, and now is getting more mileage on it by trying to get more sympathy out of you, and guilt that you cannot help her.
This is an old pattern and one that you have to break away from.
I was going to recommend the McBride book to you, but see you already read it. Did it help?
I have another couple of books for you.
You need to remove her from your life. She is like a millstone around your neck and she is drowning you.
Here is the book to help you "divorce" yourself from her:
If you wish to find a psychologist in your area go to:
www.psychology today.com and enter your city and province
then try to refine your search. Read the therapists' self-descriptions carefully and examine their websites to find the most empathetic and profession ones to call for further information.
I wish you great success in breaking free, and to that end I shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC