Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
You have been suffering a long time as a result of your husband's behavior.
It seems very apparent that he is mentally ill with a psychotic disorder, either Delusional Disorder, Persecutory Type, or if he also has hallucinations then he may have Schizophrenia, Paranoid Type.
In either case he needs to be treated with psychiatric medications.
Because of the nature of his disorder, his unwarranted paranoia, it may be very difficult to get him to go for help. I imagine at this point he is in no way connected with the Air Force, who could have begun treatment.
You may have to talk to a local government attorney (like state or county district attorney) to draw up papers to have him forcibly committed for observation and treatment if he is a threat to himself or anyone else.
If you are married to him and care about him, then you should try to get him help. He seriously needs treatment/medication.
My prayers are with the both of you and I wish you success in getting him the help he desperately needs.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
How do I go about finding the right help for him? my other concern is our financial situation, is there a program or something can can help me with those things?