How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC , Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

HI. I dont know what I did, but I think I scared this guy

Customer Question

HI. I don't know what I did, but I think I scared this guy away that I like. He dosen't text me as much, he says he likes me but I just don't feel it. I think I scared him away when I told him about my mental illness. I accidentally was so frusturated one day at something that I told him and then I took it out on him. I don't know what to do anymore :( He is not clear with me. I said I was sorry and I am trying to make it up by texting him every night, but it feels useless. What shud I tell him?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear Valeria,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Thank you for asking for me.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I understand how frustrating that it must be when you want to have a relationship with somebody but you seemed to have put the off of you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Texting him every night doesn't seem to be working.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Why don't you write him a longer letter and tell him that nobody is 100% sane all of the time, but you are still a functional person and have your good points. Tell him that you would like him to give you a chance to see that you are quite a lovely woman regardless if you do have some emotional problems.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Tell him that it won't hurt him to take a chance. You are human too and can be a very sweet, fun, and enjoyable girl.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If he has any sense he will take you up on it and give you the chance you deserve.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You know the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That applies here. You can give him the opportunity to get to know you better, but whether or not he takes it is up to him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Just be your sweetest self and you will have the best results.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I will keep your success with this matter in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regard

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Ok. I am scared, I think I am getting better. Remember when I told you how in high school this girl would copy me at EVERYTHING like personality, clothes, style, words, hobbies, etc.?? Well no matter how I try I just CANNOT get the fear out of me that she is going to steal my identity. If she becomes me, I will no longer exist and everyone is going to like her. It was like if I got replaced.

I been searching and searching in google, "Why is it important to be yourself?" and I found interest things such as:


"Suppressing our true self makes us miserable"

"Inauthenticity denies our ability to experience higher spiritual states and experiences like bliss."


and so much more. These are just a few quotes I got from this website. But I can't get over it. No one undertands what I am really going through. It's just me stuck in this nightmare. I HATE her so much for what she did to me. It's such a struggle to live like this thinking she is stalking at me. I just feel like crying right now...I am tiered of this. Then I googled more and found this:


"When you pretend or act to be someone you start to develop that part of that person more and more"


I feel like I am in prison, I hate her! I hate her! I HATE HER!!!! :'(

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Dear Valeria,

I loved your quotes. They are so valid.

Let me tell you something, however.

YOU ARE REAL. I talk to you. I have been talking to you. You are authentic. There is nobody like you and I could never mistake you for another person.

You must get this other, awful person out of your life right now. If she is suppressing her true self by pretending to be someone else (pretending to be you and whomever else she pretends to be), then she makes herself miserable. She CANNOT experience higher spiritual states nor can she feel any bliss.

You, however, CAN experience bliss and happiness because you are YOURSELF.

Hating someone else is like being in a prison. Stop hating her. Stop thinking about her. Nobody else can be you.



I like YOU and not her. God knows who YOU are and can never be fooled. I shall say a prayer right now that will protect you for all times against anyone trying to take your identity.

"Dear God: Please protect my friend Valeria from all evildoers, from all imitators and all those who wish to hurt hurt. Please give her the strength and courage to understand that she is safe and cannot be hurt. Amen"

Warm regards

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for the prayer, it means a lot.
It's not that I am forcing myself to think about her or like to think of her. I don't like it...I wish I could just forget about it. But I can't. If I am doing something, it just all the sudden triggers me. I am not trying to think of her, it just comes to me whenever I am doing stuff. Sometimes the memories, thoughts, flashbacks come into my head. I am so PARANOID. I keep reminding myself about the quotes I wrote to you. I think it's working, but I feel like I need more research more information on this I just don't know what other things to google, but I am trying to really help myself.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Dear Valeria

You are doing so well. I am very proud of your efforts.

You can get this book on amazon either as a workbook mailed to you or on Kindle, downloaded onto your computer to help you stop these thoughts You NEED to do these exercises and this is the best way to manage these obsessive thoughts.

Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life by Matthew McKay PhD, Martha Davis PhD and Patrick Fanning

I have answered two different questions for you. Please don't forget to give me positive feedback.


Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Dear Valeria,

I answered two questions for you, both of them quite well. You have given me a bad rating for good work. I have answered questions for you before and you never rated me (I was never paid).

If you keep doing this you will run out of people to help you. For the last 4 days you have had an unanswered question: "What's wrong with me....Please help me".

If this is the way you are going to treat professional therapists who care about you and spend their working time helping you instead of helping another client then you must be respectful and kind to them or they will not come back.

I offer you a chance to change your rating to a positive, which it deserves. If you are angry at someone else, do not take it out on those you care.

I await your reply and positive feedback, and I offer this advice as therapy to you.

Warm regards,


JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Previous | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ

Meet The Experts:

  • Dr. Keane

    Dr. Keane


    Satisfied Customers:

    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane


    Satisfied Customers:

    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen


    Satisfied Customers:

    PsyD Psychologist
  • Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

    Satisfied Customers:

    ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
  • Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen


    Satisfied Customers:

    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Related Mental Health Questions