Hello there, I am sorry I am missing you online. I think your mother trying to act like you has probably had a negative affect in your self esteem. I am sorry your were bullied when you were young. You did not deserve that, and you learned how to please others to be safe. The way to improve self esteem is to find something that you really like to do something that is only for you. I am not sure what your hobbies are such as art, writing, helping younger girls, sports. I think that finding something that has meaning to you something away from how others feel about you.
Can you tell me 3 personality traits that you love about yourself? What makes you yourself and different that others? We can start there. Then, I want to give you an affirmation. "I love myself and I deserve all the wonderful things that come my way". I am strong and confident.
As you begin to use the methods and other methods that you may think of to improve your self-esteem, you may notice that you have some feelings of resistance to positive feelings about yourself. This is normal. Don't let these feelings stop you from feeling good about yourself. They will diminish as you feel better and better about yourself. To help relieve these feelings, let your friends know what you are going through. Do things to relax, such as meditating or taking a nice warm bath.
You can write the affirmation in a place you see everyday.
Observe your negative thoughts and try to let them go as they come in your head. Replace them with positive thoughts. It will take time but eventually it will work.
You are also a separate person from your mother, I have a feeling that she tried to make you an extention of herself. What are your own dreams? Do you want to travel, create... It is a good time to find out who you are. Nobody can take that away from you. Let me know what you think.