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I have read your letter over twice and it really touched me. You are so right.
Pills just mask the symptoms.
What you need is real friendship and human compassion.
Can you get it where you are?
It seems that you might change your location and lifestyle completely in order to escape your depression.
You are a Christian and you might want to associate with other Christians who are helping people who are desperately in need.
Have you ever thought of doing missionary work?
Do you know anything about the Salvation Army, for example. I am not a member but worked as a cook for them some years ago and they were great, down to earth, caring people with a great sense of humor. Not stuffy or churchy.
That is just one wild idea that came to me, but it might suit you.
What do you have in mind about changing your life?
He didn't want to help you or work . He was lazy and incompetent.
What's wrong with him?
You have been traumatized and abused and now you need compassion and friendship and some real friends.
Would you like to say anything? I would like to help you.
I have a daughter also 25 and I care about her very much, and I understand and care about all people, particularly ones who have been mistreated.
Are you able to leave? I know it probably seems like it is hard to do.
You have gone offline.
I shall wait a few minutes and then exit and save the chat, so you can come back when you feel like talking.
I just feel so alone! i just cant emphasis that word enough. i don't know what i need anymore, it been so long that i have been suffering from depression. what do i do? there is only way i know out, and i dont want to do that. ever since i was raped i feel worthless and disgusting. I feel used and unwanted. I am just a used body that was used for the taking, soulless with nothing more to offer.
That is not true. You could do a lot to help others who have suffered more than you could know, and in doing so it would make you whole again.
Why don't you try it?
how can i help others when i have lost all faith in human compassion? i want to give up so badly.........................
Do some research to find a good missionary organization to join. You will find loving and compassionate people and they will restore your faith. When you see how you can help others you will become a new and strong person.
I have not recommended this to anyone before but I believe it would help YOU.
i feel like your trying to tell me that all i need to do is help others and all my problems will be gone. I do help others whenever i can. I still feel like I am a disposable piece of garbage on this earth.
But when you help others you will become a valuable human being.
everyday at least once, it comes into my mind how someone who i trusted would rape me. i woke up without clothes on and knew i was raped, but what hurt me the most was that i could not even trust someone who i would have trusted my life with. i feel sad and hateful of myself, i don't know why anybody would value my life on this earth.
I don't know you but I value your life and feel your pain. I am an empathetic person and am not handing you a line.
If you comfort the needy, you will see your value.
I give my time at a local nursing home, and at a county jail. It makes me feel worth more.
last time i tried to kill myself, it was out of hatred for myself, i feel that again. do you understand what i am feeling? have you ever felt what i trying to explain?
I have. I know how horrible depression is.
Here is an interesting site for you to consider.
i am used and abused. i feel like i should be able to finally snap out of whats wrong with me! i am just one of a hundred people in this world and i it seems like i could just disappear without a trace, yet this thought leaves me sad inside.
And on the other hand you could just as quickly turn your life around.
You could also consider joining the Peace Corps..
are even listening to what i am saying or are you just giving me generic answers because that's what it seems.
You need a radical solution.
I am listening to you very carefully.
i wouldn't be asking "justanswerer " if i didn't think i had anything else.......................
You are talking like a person who wants to quit and give up. You have to stop doing that. There is nothing generic in my answers.
Well you happen to get ME - and I care.
what do you consider radical? I am not trying to place the weight of the world on your shoulders, i am just one among a milliion, but i need help. nothing it seems even you can say, can help me.
I am telling you to get up and away from your desperate situation and find some other environment to go where you can do something other than sit around feeling woeful and contemplating taking your life.
Radical means to change your lifestyle which is not working.
I cannot fix you with words but I can urge you to change your lifestyle and environment.
but it has been so long, so many times i have tried to reach out to those claiming to give help. although you have given me sweet words, whether truthful or not, it has helped. But last time i spoke to you online, i ended up drinking myself into almost a comatose stat in the hospital.
And was that my doing?
no not at all
And my words are truthful and from my heart.
thats not what im saying
You have to save yourself. I am trying to help you get out of the deep hole you are in.
I know it is hard when you are so depressed, but you have to use that humanity in you do crawl out.
You have to fight back, find your courage.
Join the military. Do something structured.
true sadness is a deprivation of humility and compassion. depression is real, do you understand that, your suggesting that i change my surroundings, not treat my illness.
so many people have told me that i am imaging this!!!
Changing your surroundings and the people you are with WILL treat your illness.
I am not telling this. I know you are suffering ----- terribly.
that my sadness is imagined and unnecessary............
I know how real it is.
I am with you
i don't want to wake up to even one more morning of sadness
Then try something new other than contemplate suicide.
please just tell me that i am a selfish human being
How are you selfish? You are in terrible pain.
it is an invisible pain that others see as a weakness.
Only a blind person could not see your pain.
i have tried the mental health care system and they have only failed me. what is left? a world full of sinners and sadness
I am sorry that I have failed you. Nothing I have said seems to have pleased you or moved you. You are surrounded by sinners and sadness and that is all that you see.
:( its not you, i swear. it me.
i want to take the bottle of pills i have so badly.........
Don't do it.
what else do i have
a struggle that will never end or an answer.
Are you OK?
i don know whiiiiiiT TO feeel
How can I help you?
iiiiii ddonty knoweeeeer
Have you taken your pills?
Please call 911 and save yourself.
You said "I don't want to end my life by my own hands"
What is your address or phone number. I will help you get help.
Call 911 for help
Please in the name of God get help.
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Please call 911