Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about this concerning and frustrating situation. Could you please clarify who is undergoing these problems? In your question you said "My who has"...
hello, my son
25 years old
Thanks for clarifying. Could you please tell me for how long was he using methamphetamines?
on and off for 5 years. but just within the past 9 months has it come to my attention and has impacted his life through loss of job and depression and lack of motivation to go on.
I see. What type of treatments has he received since you found out about it?
he actually today with my help and pushing started a job but I am afraid he my blow it if he gets to stressed out
no professional treatments. no insurance and the cost of medical care is a issue with us
I am very sorry to know about this situation. Here we are talking about drug addiction that has been present for several years, and that most times implies mental health disorders, from depression to anxiety and anger issues may have been present too, what makes of situations like this tough, once it is not only about physical and psychological addiction, but also about the use of these drugs to numb the symptoms from mental health disorders, like the ones I just listed.
Addictions are chronic health conditions, thus officially we do not talk about healing from addictions, but about rehabilitating from them, which is possible and could allow the person to rebuild a healthy and productive life, as long as with the right support.
He needs of professional support in order to get a good detoxification process, only after that he would be able to work on starting his rehabilitation, which should include individual and group psychotherapy.
the problem here is that I have tried to get him to 12 step meetings but he thinks as long as he stays off the drugs he will be ok. I don't know what else to do.
You are absolutely right that with all these symptoms be would barely be able to comply with basic employment requirements and demands. But at teh same time, isolating himself and having no productive - responsible activity at all would be the worst approach, which would not only push him back into active use, but worsen the mental health problems ad everything else.
ok. what about medication in a case like this
I am sorry, but your son is already an adult, and apparently he is not independent but you are financially- materially supporting him, please confirm if this is the case. If it is, then it's absolutely unacceptable and neglectful for him to choose not to get necessary support to start his rehabilitation process.
Treatment should include both, psychiatric-medical and psychological treatment. This is why he needs of medical support to detox, then intense psychological treatment to rehabilitate and to control - reduce relapses.
it is a long term process, that needs to start and would never end, but if he truly takes responsibility for it and work on it, he would have a chance to rehabilitate from the addiction and the mental health disorders.
this is the case. and I agree. what then would be the best first step to go about getting this help.
Your support should be limited to promote what is healthy and could allow him to get and keep into his rehabilitation process, and not to enable further deterioration of his mental health. that's why I totally acknowledge your assertiveness when pushing hm to get a job. the problem about that option is that he needs to get necessary treatment for him to be able to comply with such responsibilities.
what kind of treatment exactly?
Firs he needs to come to terms with the fact that any form of material-financial support from you would depend on him taking full responsibility for his rehabilitation process, that if he refuses to do so, then your support would be limited to unconditional healthy affection and orientation, mental and emotional support, but not material help.
He would need Dual-diagnosis treatment, which is mental health treatment for people presenting addictions and mental health disorders. after eh gets truly detoxified, he would be able to benefit from intensive dual diagnosis treatment program. It would include psychiatric and psychotherapeutic support, individual, group and family therapy. After completion he should commit to individual psychotherapy and at leas to a support group for addictions.
thats been done already i would say by the arrangements and terms we have come to at this point. Are you by chance in the phoenix area. and familiar with the dream center. we looked into that and I gave him a week before I kicked him out. he has been doing a little better since that time but he was unwilling to commit to the rules of the dream center
take into account that core issues fueling addictions are denial, secrecy, avoidance, lack of accountability, dishonesty, manipulation and many others, which if unaddressed would not allow the person to make any real improvement into his rehabilitation process.
still with me but doing better.
I am not familiar with this center, but your approach was absolutely correct. remember that without real commitment he would not be able to make any real improvement, this is why his "support system", mostly you, other parent and close family and friends -healthy ones- need to play a very assertive and helpful role here, otherwise, unintentionally you could end enabling further active addiction and mental health disorders.
Key factors here must be "full accountability" for his well-being, rehabilitation process and core responsibilities. Any form of material-financial support should be limited to what he earn from his concrete effort and work, while "healthy" emotional and psychological support should be unconditional as long as he shows respect and accountability towards you.
when he has those episodes where his mind is racing with random thoughts which he cannot control \ what does that suggest to you and what will help
If he refuses to start or remain getting necessary available support to work on himself for his rehabilitation, there there is nothing anybody could do to change it. You need to set and keep clear and healthy limits and boundaries, making rules very clear, enforcing them, and it depends on him if he wants to respect them or not, and depending on his actions, you would offer healthy support.
also I am wondering if a full transcript of this conversation will be available and would you recommend that I give it to him to read for himself
That would show his body and mind reacting to the lack of those drugs, the physical and mental anxiety related to them, and this is why to try to get clean without getting necessary adequate support does not work.
how long after stoping the use of the drugs would you expect them to last
Drugs -addictions are used by people as way on getting a numbing effect from painful feelings and experiences they do not know how to cope with, to get instant relief and sense of fulfillment and control, they do not know how to find through healthy life experiences, if to that you add the addictive power these drugs have, at the physical and mental levels, it becomes a very serious reality, and that's why consistent and sound support is so essential.
Withdrawal from these drugs, after chronic abuse - addiction for several years uses to require psychiatric and psychological treatment as explained before, otherwise it could not work at all but push the person to feel overwhelmed and get into crisis, since symptoms could become traumatizing. At least half to a complete year would be required just to get the core recovery process started
remember that the drug played a numbing effect and now that he is not using, depression, anxiety and any other disorder he may suffer are just getting more and more intense, then it would not work to do this without medical and psychological support. Most times antidepressive are used in this process
6 months is what the program at the dream center required.
I do not use to suggest people to use psychiatric drugs to rehabilitate from illegal drugs, but rather to focus on intense psychological treatment and family support, but some times, if carefully controlled, some medication could help during the initial stages. Just need to be very careful, since drugs would not eliminate a drug addiction nor a mental health problem.
Sounds realistic, but that would only work if full consistency is presented. Whenever we talk about addictions, we are dealing with tough health conditions that present multiple challenges at multiple levels, and only those truly committed to their rehabilitation process, and with the right professional support, and help from a healthy "support system" could have a chance for sustained recovery.
I agree with that. Other than my willingness to be consistent and supportive and keep him focused on his rehabilitation process.
That's the best you can do, everything else depends on him, an dhow he use available support to work on himself and his rehabilitation.
If that dosen't work I think I will have to give him another ultimatum about leaving him with no othere choice. as in kicking him out as hard as that is. I am defiantly hoping that this job will work for him. and things turn out ok.
thank you for your time. one more question. will i have the opportunity to receive a copy and do you recommend showing it to him.
I support you. Again, without he taking full responsibility for his rehabilitation process, nothing worthy would be built and the best support would become useless. Regular employment could become impossible to keep as long as adequate treatment is not in place. He decided what he wants to afford or not.
I belive it would help. he is after all taking the right steps now
I absolutely recommend you to share it with him. Copy the link of this page and it would direct you to it whenever you want it, or you could copy and paste the text too.
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