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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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My boyfriend needs to speak with someone in the mental health

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend needs to speak with someone in the mental health field about being molested as a small child. He is very afraid to talk about this, but it is ruining his life. What kind of Dr. should he speak with?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Jean replied 1 year ago.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello, I am available to assist you.

Customer:

Did you have a chance to review my question?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It takes a lot of courage for your boyfriend to take this step. It will help his recovery to have you there for support. Of course he is afraid. Yes I reviewed your question.

Customer:

So does kind of Dr. would he contact... I think this online thing would be perfect for him.

Customer:

That way he could chat and not feel like he is talking face to face. ooops and I meant to ask what kind of Dr. would he need to speak with?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

We often refer people to look of Psychology Today Website to "find a therapist". If you go to the website it breaks it down into specialties and therapists. I would start with an M.S. or phd psychologist. This website does not offer therapy- info only.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

If he had specific questions about the therapy process I could help with that.

Customer:

Would he speak with you about his situation to help walk him through everything... It is such a mess and it is making me a walking mess also..

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Some abuse survivors find it helpful to join a support group on line. If he prefers to start with on line vs. face to face. I can give you a couple website possibilities.

Customer:

that would be wonderful!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Is he motivated to get help?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It will take me a few moments to get that info. for you-

Customer:

He is ready but does not want to be face to face with someone...

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Be back asap with those links

Jean N/20pluscounts :

An online support group may be a great place to start.

Customer:

I will let him know this information... I am excited that he could do this and he could finally get some help. He is 49 it happened when he was 10-13. :(

Jean N/20pluscounts :

http://www.aftersilence.org/index.php here's a start- After Silence

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Was he molested by a family member?

Customer:

It is so hard to be his support because it makes me so angry that an adult could do such a harmful thing to a small child.. No it was a family friend.. the parents would leave and the guy would see they were gone and come over.. it became a relationship since it happened for 3 years. I think the guy finally moved away..

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I will provide you with a few more possibilities so you can both view and decide what looks like a good fit. Yes you are affected by his hurt with all of this.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Him getting help and support will ease your mind too

Jean N/20pluscounts :

here's a few resources- http://psychcentral.com/resources/Abuse/Support_Groups/ If you go to psychcentral.com and put in "abuse support group", in search area you will get to that page.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

There's one specific to male survivors

Customer:

It will help.. I worry everyday about it. When he told me, I freaked.. I did research and it scared me to death.. Do these patterns continue? Can being molested cause him to molest others? He doesn't seem to be the kind of person to ever harm anyone. He is very kind hearted, but the mother in me still worries.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

No, it's unlikely he would now begin to molest after all this time.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It's important for him to address it though to prevent things getting worse for him-

Jean N/20pluscounts :

AMSOSA Adult Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Him opening up more lessens the possibilities that he would offend anyone

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Of course as a mother your instinct is to protect

Jean N/20pluscounts :

If he's willing to reach out on line in a support group- great first step. Men especially find it difficult to open up about this.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

There is a lot of shame

Customer:

You have helped so much! This site is great! I am glad I found you.. :)

Jean N/20pluscounts :

He can remain anonymous on line

Customer:

If he doesn't want a support group right away could he just get on here and talk with you?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You are welcome- best wishes to both of you. Let me know if you have other questions. Yes he could post a question and write: "for JeanN/20pluscounts" and I would get the question.

Customer:

have a great day!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Would you be so kind to rate my answer okay or higher so I can get credit- much appreciated!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Have a good day too!

Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience: Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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Jean
Jean
Mental Health Professional
433 Satisfied Customers
Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)