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Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 395
Experience:  I have 20 years experience in the mental health field
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Need help w/ 22 yr.old

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I have a 22 yr old daughter. Growing up she had a lot of anger , weight gain as a young girl. She was not a very happy little girl. I took her to therapy through the years, but nothing was done to help her. Questions, paperwork and talk, but no much else. She encounter a neighbor friend (girl) which the had a relationship at a young age of maybe 7 th grade with and ended in high School.
But she liked boys too. So as the years passed anger and up and down moods continued. She now met a guy that she dated and lived together. Dated for 4 years. Met him as she was an EMT as well. Lived with us for two because they were saving money for a house and were planning to get married. They both work at the Hospital in the Psych ward. So they now planning the wedding and she was getting unbearable to plan things. So starting not to deal with all the planning having melt downs. So her dr. Put her on Prozac. It made a great difference ,great mood ect. We got along with out arguing, it was nice like she found herself. They decided to up her milligrams for some reason. Plus no therapy . Got married works hard . Bought themselves a nice condo ,works , spent lots of time with us and themselves, didn't drink much. Moods were high, worked out. They planned to go to Ireland to see her girlfriend that lives there with her boyfriend. A week before they were leaving, she got drink and had affair with a female that was doing rounds at the hospital for her college degree. The whole week she was acting weird avoiding us all. Now they still went to Ireland. My daughter had an episode of some kind. She drank and didn't sleep all the time they were in Ireland. We had to bring her home a couple of days early. Trying to get her into some kind of help. Her regular doctor made her stop her antidepressant. We are taking her to a place where they are accessing her, but taking along time, two months later. She is living with us, she won't go to her home and she can't talk to her husband, he makes her mad. We never know if she will stay here at night. She keeps going to this girls apt. Whom she had an encounter with. Doesn't acknowledge she is married. He is devastated. She is not wanting to talk with us or him. She acts like a 16 yr..and says we have to except her, this is the real her. No care of her dogs ,bills, money. We were close. She has to keep taking off like she is on an agenda but no where to go. So far she is they think unspecified bi-polar.
This center is dragging on, she is living life like we are not here. We are thinking maybe a center for her to go away and find herself. Her battle with herself, weight and who she is?
What is my next step in helping her cope before she crashes. She only has been married 7 months. ;(
Thank you,

Hello there and thanks for asking JA. When I read your
daughter's story and her symptoms I can help but to think that your daughter
has been misdiagnosed. From the symptoms your described it looks to me like she
has bi-polar disorder.

Penny Rayas, MFT and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We are thinking maybe a place to go for bipolar and get some help on herself being. She needs to find herself. Some kind of retreat or treatment cent for her condition?

Yes you are right about that. Please call the psychiatrist that was treating her. He is responsible for her treatment. If those symptoms started when her medication Prozac was increased the manic episode may be a result of the increase. Call her doctor and tell her all the symptoms. You can convince her to go to the emergency room especially if you worry about her safety. My feeling is your daughter will not be willing to do anything right now. Your daughter will most likely go through a depressive episode after the manic one. Bi-polar people are very impolsive when they are manic that explains the drinking and affair. There are rehabilitation centers and her psychiatirst would know what those centers are. He would have to access her and refer her to one of those places. I wonder if you can do a family intervention for her, where you invite those who love her and tell her how you feel and how you want to help. Some times the rehab program can help you with an intervention.

On the other hand you may not be able to do much if your daughter is not willing.

My exprerience is most bi-polar people do not like to be treated because they like the mania part of the bi-polar because they feel ontop of the world and can't see how unsafe thier behavior has been.

Manic Episode Symptoms

A manic episode is one in which the person feels "up" or energized to the point of extreme behavior. Patients may feel as though they're invincible and on top of the world. They can't sleep and seem to have an abundance of energy. Sometimes they act out with inappropriate sexual behavior, wild shopping sprees, unrealistic plans and grandiose thinking. They set enormous goals for themselves and may really believe they can achieve them. They seem wild and out of control.

Manic Symptoms

  • Feeling abnormally "on top of the world" with inflated self-esteem and grandiose self-image for at least one week is a warning sign for manic symptoms that can be part of bipolar disorder. Manic symptoms also include decreased need for sleep, racing thoughts, flight of ideas and can include high-risk sexual behavior or increased spending that can cause significant financial problems.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thank you so much!! Thank you for reading my long letter. We are in limbo and we all want to get her the help she needs.
Thank you!
You are wellcome. IF you would like to talk to me in the future please ask for Penny. It was a pleasure working with you.

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