The Cymbalta 120 mg. was prescribed by my MD. I don't think she can prescribe those medicines you mentioned Prozac, Modafinil, Wellbutrin; but I will call her tomorrow and leave the suggestions with her nurse. She may have to refer me to another Dr. in town. My Dr. is an internist and I know she is not a Psychiatrist.
Also, I registered in the Living Life to the Full program. I took the depression screening test and scored 26 out of 27 which was severe depression. I didn't realize it would be that bad, but it is what it is. I will be using the course lessons over the weeks ahead and continue to take a new test every 7 days to check my mood again.
My sister (my identical twin) came over today and I told her how sick I was so somebody knows. I just can't snap out of this thing and pull myself up alone. I am in trouble and have reached out to try and get help. She knows that when I was in college I had a bad spell and had a suicide attempt. I don't want to kill myself now, that is not where I am. But I don't really have my life in a good place now physically, emotionally, am alone after 28 years of marriage, had so many knocks from siezures to paralysis, neck fusion, back surgery, knee , back and neck therapy, moving, a horrible screaming relationship with my ex husband who is verbally abusive and was our whole relationship, our finances got wrecked, etc. So much, so much and I have really bad rosecea that was not properly diagnosed for almost 3 yrs. and it got so out of control. So now it caused really bad scarring and I am ashamed to go out because people judge women so much on their appearance. 4 Dr.s I went to tried to blame me for what was going on with my skin and say it was all going to go away if I just ignored it. But I finally went to St. Louis University's Medical Pavillion and their Dermatology Dept. immediately knew that I had rosecea granulomous-the deepest, most scarring type of rosecea that is the hardest to treat and is progressive if not treated! I was relieved but so upset that I went from the most perfect skin that I took care of really well, to a horrible and unrecognizable face. And after I had to wear a neck brace for 2 months from neck fusion it made the rosecea really , really flared up around the bottom of my face and jawline. This problem alone keeps me from opening the door to get the newspaper for fear someone will see me. The Dr. says it could take a couple of years before it is under control and that it is a chronic condition now.
I feel like everything got taken away from my life. I got injured at 31 yrs. old and I had been an athlete my whole life. I was a star athlete - an All American Volleyball Player, I went to Michigan State Univ. and then Hillsdale College, i played 4 sports in high school and was All State in Volleyball and undefeated in basketball my senior year. I pitched softball in high school and college. I continued coaching and teaching after college and playing sports. I married while he was a college senior and we had sports in common. We had a child within 2 1/2 years, but he was sick with Muscular Dystrophy and died at 15 1/2 months. He wouldn't adopt and more children were a 1 in 4 chance they would die within 2 years with the type of MD we carried. 2 kids would be carriers and 1 would be unaffected, but there was no test available until I was 38 yrs old to find out if the baby was affected during early pregnancy. By then, my back was wrecked and I could not abort a child anyway. My sister helped with the baby and was there to live with us and help care for him around the clock for months.. She was a 2nd mom.
I have been through so many physical therapies, treatments, injections, epidurals, pain pills, surgeries, side effects from all the above and up and down in pain and movement trying to get better and never ever giving up trying to regain my health and fitness since the day I got hurt. I worked until 1999 even though I was in horrible pain, throwing up almost every day in pain in the work bathroom, laying down in conference rooms or bathrooms, but I had to keep health insurance while my husband worked his way up through his company. I finally had to quit from pain, but my company didn't want me to leave because I was their top production person with all the top clients. So they gave me 3 months off and kept me on the health insurance and paid for it, then I went back to work with fewer hours and a runner (worked in a large printing plant) and not the top clients so I didn't have the stress. But I only lasted a few months; then I went in for experimental back surgery and it was a total failure. I had to go out on disability. It took 1 1/2 yrs. to get, but I did it no lawyer.
Sorry, I am tired and blathering on. The first 2 paragraphs are what matter. Thanks, LYNN