How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Penny Rayas, MFT Your Own Question
Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 395
Experience:  I have 20 years experience in the mental health field
59700337
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Penny Rayas, MFT is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I like wearing women s lingerie and think of having sex as

This answer was rated:

I like wearing women s lingerie and think of having sex as a women. I have not done so, but have gone to some places and have had them use dildos in me. What am I looking for? Why do I do this?
Hello there and thanks for asking JA. it looks like you are a crossdresser. I think as many as one out of 10 men crossdress. This does not mean that you are mentally ill. This is a normal behavior for you and many others. Can you tell me if this is causing you distress? How is your relationship with our wife? There many crossdressers support groups. I suggest this book for you. Also look for a therapist in your city that specialises in providing therapy for crossdressers
Crossdressing With Dignity: The
Case For Transcending Gender Lines [Paperback]

Peggy
(Author)

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

No it goes not cause me distress. I have been to some providers who work with me in role plays where I act as awomen sexually. Using toys. I did oral and anal play. I also enjoy that and I have visited shemale web sites and think about a session with a shemale. My wife and I have a good relationship and on occasions in the past I've had relations with other women. A few times with my wive I've worn some of her lingerie and sex was good. Also the last time I was away from home and had a massage I wore panties and a camisole. Some times I think of sex with men and wonder if I'm bi.

I am glad that you are open. If your fantacies are with men also you may be bi-sexual. Transs men can be heterosexual, gay or bi. I am glad your wife is open to sharing your fantacies with you, and I am glad that you have a supportive wife. Do you feel that you are a woman in a men's body? Are you comfortable with your body?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


I am comfortable with my body for the most part - would like to be bigger rarther then average as far as my penis goes. My wife does not know about me doing anything with others and I don't plan to tell her. She is OK occasionally with me in her lingerie but I've never tried to dress in her clothes, as I have in sessions, including make-up, wigs, and a complete outfit. So I'm not 100% open with her. I hold back because I'm not sure she would understand - expecially me performimg oral and anal sex as awomen with toys.

I understand that this is difficult to talk about with your wife but I think it is important. You can start slow and make a few suggestions if she does not like the suggestions you can let it go. You never know until you ask. I think hiding a big secret like this is hard and takes a lot of energy. You can bring this up in therapy and do some role-play on telling your wife about your fantacies. Even if she does not react well at first you can give her a chance to get to know you more. I think you have nothing to loss if she panicks you back-off. I think giving your wife a chance to know this part of you may be liberating.
Penny Rayas, MFT and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Thanks so much for working with me let me know how it goes in the future.