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Oh my goodness... I am so so so sorry that you are in this horrible situation. I hope I can help you here... my answer is simply this: Do not let others influence your choice in the matter. It is completely understandable that you fear their reactions, and if it feels better not to go, don't. If you feel that you need to go, then you should follow your intuition. You are not to blame, and you are going to have quite a bit to deal with for quite awhile now, I am sure.
I am attaching a link to an article that you may find helpful. Although the title is "Suicide of a Co-Worker", read through it.http://www.traumarecovery.com.sg/pub/R.Ottenstein-Co-worker.Suicide.pdf It talks about managing any guilt, and I want you to remember that suicide was his choice; not yours. And the choice should not reflect at all on you. You made a decision to end the relationship because you needed to, and people break up everyday. What he chose was not your fault.
I wish you strength and peace, and give yourself as much time as you need to in managing such a complicated situation. I will check back and am ready to assist you in anyway that I can.
Just let me know if you have further questions... and thank you for using the site. I wish you all the best.
Also, one more thing: Take good care as you walk this journey. Here is a link to more useful information on the feelings you may experience as this story unfolds: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/suicide/MH00048
My best to you...