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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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My son has just told me that he believes that he is gay. Although

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My son has just told me that he believes that he is gay. Although I know that the general belief is that you are born that way, he has a memory of something that happened during childhood that might have turned him against women. I think he should go for counselling but I wonder if it would be likely to change his orientation if it was caused my some sort of childhood trauma.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know the concerns and stress this situation is creating in your lives.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Most times revealing to a parent sexual preferences different from those commonly accepted or assumed as standard and normal requires a lot of courage and strength, but it shows how important it is for the person to open up and start coping with the unavoidable challenges different sexual preferences use to bring - trigger.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

There are many things we still don't know about human psyche and behavior, it is important to understand that what we call "scientific" is just the label we attach to the most current theories we consider as closest to reality as our intelligence, knowledge and scientific means allow us to develop, all of them affected by worldviews and premises which are also based on theories. We believe sexual preferences have a genetic factor determining their development, but also believe that learning from experience does shape the way people develop their personality, with everything it embraces, including sexual preferences.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then his thoughts about past negative experience-s as possible roots of this sexual preference could make perfect sense as important factor playing a key role in the way his sexuality evolved since then.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Any issue or conflicting situation challenging our ability to have a healthy, stable and fulfilling life, regardless the life area involved, should lead us to consider getting necessary psychological support, the same way we look for a medical doctor when we have a physical problem. Then it is essential for him to get counseling - psychotherapeutic support in order to work on this past issue he considers as key in the development of his sexual preference. Working on himself with therapeutic support, would allow him to clarify his mind around this area and know what he really feels, wants and how to cope with the challenges it implies.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Your role as a mother would be to support him with healthy affection - emotional support, and guidance, pointing at the importance of getting adequate psychological support to work on these areas, not because homosexual preferences happen to be wrong or abnormal, but for him to truly know, understand himself, work on any previous issue limiting his ability to take good care of himself, enjoy life and be himself.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

Customer:

Yes, Thank-you so much for your advice. I think counseling is the way to go. Although this has been a shock and not something you want your child to have to deal with I am trying to be loving and supportive. He is a wonderful person and this does not change that fact one little bit.

Customer:

I am trying to give you an excellent service rating but it doesn't seem to work yet. I think I need to hear back from you before I can do this.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please try it again

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