Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about this painful and perhaps overwhelming period in your life.
The first thing I would like to say is that if you depression started right after you had your twins, then it could be that you are suffering of postpartum depression.
No way to know for sure but through a complete psychological assessment. If such diagnoses is found or any other form of depression, then the first thing you would need to do is to get professional psychotherapy in order to rehabilitate from it. When medication could help with some symptoms, they present several side effects and are never the best option when it is about breastfeeding your babies.
Pregnancies and having a child are always challenging periods in a woman's life, thus they could easily cause or trigger different disorders, from depression to anxiety or any other.
This is why help from your "support system", from your husband, to your close family and friends become so important, plus adequate psychotherapeutic assistance. This way you would ensure the best results in the shortest possible period of time
Please be unconditionally patient, understanding, gentle and supportive with yourself, since what you need the most right now is to relax and enjoy this unique time in your life, taking good care of yourself in order to be able to take good care of your little children, and three for sure is not an easy task for most mothers.
besides my husband i have no help. the grandmothers wont even help me at times when i need them most
is this also causing negativity to overpower ky positive ones. Im always uappy but deep down i feel lots and anxiety and sadness. why?
I am sorry to hear that. It's good to know your husband is there for you but taking care of two babies and a third child, besides of dealing with depression is just tough, thus necessary for you to get more help.
Pregnancies and having a child could create depressive and/or anxiety disorders, and if we take into account that you got no help but from your husband when possible, it is absolutely challenging if not overwhelming for most women in your shoes to face all these stressors.
I dont understand y i feel this way. i feel embarassed
people do not need to intellectually understand why nor how they happen to get depressed or anxious, many times we could just found ourselves suffering of these disorders and that's why it is so important to get necessary support, first from support system and from mental health professionals.
Please take into account what i just mentioned, your need to work on becoming truly and unconditionally patient with yourself, since the last thing you, your babies and family need is to get further stress.
Thank you! I honestly thought i was going crazy or was going to harm myself before getting celexa.i felt like i was walking on eggshells around myself! Always angry and feeling hopeless
I also dont get much sleep, could that too be a factor?
These overwhelming feelings and sensations are tough to cope with, that's why you need to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing you should feel guilty or embarased about. You need to be extra caring, loving and compassionate with yourself, since it is from there that your own rehabilitation and ability to take good care of your loved ones arises.
Absolutely, without good quality sleep, we could get seriously mentally and physically ill, and insomnia it could become a life threatening condition if not treated, that's why it is so important to have a holistic approach, taking into account every core aspect of your life, how to take good care of them in order to promote the integral-whole well-being.
Please look for individual psychotherapy to work on rehabilitating from depression and anxiety. This professional would first assess your mental health status, mood and functioning, get your records from your doctors and then develop with you a treatment plan, which would guide your therapeutic process. I think it would be very important to get a person, ideally a close friend, to help you there, once it is a lot you have to cope with and handle by yourself. If there is no friend able and willing to provide such support, then look for somebody able and available to support you.