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Kate I believe I miscommunicated one thing:I did not ever get this experience when I was young. I never have experienced a same sex attraction or a pedophilic attraction, or doubts concerning one, prior to one month ago. I was visiting a school around one month ago when I saw this child and got the tingling sensation in my penis. I have been sorrounded by children all my life never got it before I saw that child last month, but I have got it afterwards.
However, I have never has any enjoyable 'sexual thoughts' about children, I actually dislike the thought intensely and get no arousal from it.
Is is possible to 'develop' pedophilia in your twenties?
But what were the 'feelings'? That is what I'm concerned about. I didn't clearly feel sexual, and I never had sexual thoughts about the boy. But tingling disturbs me, because I haven't discerned what it meant.As a matter of fact, I have felt this tingling in the tip of my penis all of the time recently, even before I saw that boy. It has given me a bit of a sexual identity crisis because I don't know if I am feeling a sexual emotion, some non-sexual emotion or a physical process.
It may be that you found the idea of being attracted to him so against your morals that you became worried about it when you experienced the sensation out of the blue. Getting to the root of this issue may take seeing a therapist so you have the time to explore it deeper. But at this point, it could be connected to OCD. Seeing a therapist for an evaluation would help to determine the cause and give you an answer about if OCD is at the root of your thoughts and feelings.
I'm not sure Kate.I have done counseling, hypnotherapy, exposure therapy through mental imaging and watching videos of kids, consulting with loved ones etc. I have not yet in this two month ordeal felt attracted to children. However, I am still haunted that I am and I am not quite sure why-I think the tingling sensation has something to do with it. I get the same sensation with I am put in a position of discomfort-meeting someone I don't trust, fear of heights etc.I am trying to deal with it but frankly it is fatiguing me greatly
I think these experiences have a lot to do it the fear- I developed an attraction to transsexuals at one point and acted on it. This made me feel terrible afterwards and seriously question my sexuality. It is a lurking fear that I may develop a similar response to children(but has not yet occurred)- I was highly promiscuous at one point and this made me very unhappy. I felt that my sex drive was truly out of my control. If I develop an attraction to children, I fear that I will not be able to control myself.- I am highly,highly stressed about life. I have recently attended a funeral of a close family member, I am deeply behind in university studies and I am very lonely since I have cut off many friends after trying to build a new life.- An abnormally low libido. Even though I consider myself straight, I just don't have much attraction to women these days. I find it hard to tell attraction from mere cuteness or the difference between arousal and a desire to urinate(really). This has triggered a bit of an identity crisis with me, I don't really know where I stand sexually.
I am sorry that you were unhappy with your answer. However, next time please consider responding with the new information about your situation before you rate. This is information that I was not aware of before I provided an answer to you and I cannot provide a thorough answer without it.
What you are describing sounds like OCD and I recommended you try seeking face to face therapy to explore the deeper issues behind what you are feeling. It is not possible that if you started experiencing some of these symptoms just a month ago that you have had enough therapy to help you work through this. And you should also seek help from your regular doctor for something like low libido, which can be a physical issue which should be ruled out first.
However, Just Answer is a question and answer site, not a therapy site. So going through the deeper reasons why you have these feelings would not be appropriate in this format. That is why I gave you the best impression I had of what you might be suffering with and recommended you seek therapy. It is unethical for me to diagnose you on line without providing a face to face evaluation. You need to be assessed in person. And if your previous experience with therapy were unhelpful, it could be that you saw the wrong type of therapist or you need to speak to your doctor about the appropriate therapist.
Because of the distress you are experiencing at this point, therapy is your best choice. If you feel in person therapy is not effective, I'm not sure what you expect through an on line question and answer format.
Again, I am sorry you did not get the answer you were seeking. At this point, the information I gave you was the best recommendation I can provide given the limits of Just Answer.
I'm sorry I rated you poorly Kate.I just feel desperate for an answer. I just can't stand feeling depressed anymore.