Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
What you describe feeling is an irrational fear, just as you said. Pedophiles do not fear what they feel. They actually think what they feel for children is natural and normal. They usually experience no distress about it but feel that they are not doing any wrong and even go as far as being convinced the children they victimize feel the same way. If you fear that you are a pedophile, then it can indicate that you are not one.
The sensation you have at the tip of your penis is most likely a learned response which is aggravated by your fear of it. What I mean is that you had the sensation happen once out of the blue when you were young. Since then, you have attached a fear to it. In your mind, it means that you are a pedophile. So each time you have it, it "reinforces" your fear. But what you are actually experiencing is just a fear and not feelings about sexually molesting children.
It is not uncommon to be sexually attracted to someone of the same sex. And when you experienced that as a child, it might have triggered some sexual feelings for you. But feeling something and acting on it are two very different things. Plus the guilt you already feel even though you have not done anything indicates how bad you feel being a pedophile is. Add
to that the fact that you are attracted to other adults and have a response to heterosexual sex tells you that you are ok.
Because of your intense worry over your feelings, you may want to consider exploring if you have OCD- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Repeated worrying over the same thoughts can be as a result of OCD. And sexual concerns are common with OCD. Seeing a therapist for an evaluation can help you to determine if you do have OCD. And if you do, there are treatments. In the meanwhile, here are some ideas on how to deal with your thoughts:
To address this, try changing the way you think about your fear. When the thought comes into your mind that you are attracted to children, instead of thinking that you are going to become a pedophile, recognize that you are having an obsessive thought about becoming a pedophile. Make it about the obsession rather than what you are obsessing about.
Refocus your thoughts. When the thoughts come into your mind, distract yourself. Find something that interests you and focus on it as long as you can.
Do not give your obsession meaning. The more you focus on it, the more importance you give it. So treat it like it's nothing. "It's only my thoughts. It does not mean anything".
I hope this has helped you,