Thank you for waiting.
Okay. Your husband may not go to counseling.
Well, are you open to your counseling?
You mentioned that you are abusive to your husband at times.
Perhaps, you may work on your anger issues.
You are aware of your anger problem.
You may learn about anger management and assertiveness communication skills.
You may practice anger management - for example, when you get angry and want to yell at him, tell yourself "Stop, listen and Think. You can talk about your anger and frustration. But no yelling or verbally attacking him." Also, when you get angry and want to yell at him, you may breathe deeply and count 1 to 10 to calm down first and may leave the place where you face him.
The book "The Relaxation & Stress
Reduction workbook" by Dr.Davis et al. may be helpful for you to learn assertiveness communication and anger management skills.
Also, you may benefit from working with a psychologist WEEKLY for 6 months or longer.
You may benefit from having Anger management counseling or Cognitive-Behavior therapy (CBT).
You can call your insurance company and get a list of providers in your area.
Or, you can search a licensed psychotherapist or a counselor on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as Anger management. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Anger management counseling or Cognitive-Behavior therapy (CBT).
You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that you want to work with – Male or female? Old or young? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you can see it as an informational meeting. You and he can ask any question. You can also negotiate psychotherapy fee and number of sessions.
If you need a low fee counseling or have no health insurance, you may call The United Way toll free # XXXXX (Dial 2-1-1)to find the community mental health centers in your area in which you can get counseling even without health insurance.
I hope you can manage your anger better with available help.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,