Hello! My name'sXXXXX 16, and I've been on a coctail of medications for a year or more, they include the following:
Clonazepam: 1mg twice a day (morning and night)
Effexor: 225mg in the morning
Beta Blocker: Not sure of dosage or name of it, but I take it in the morning.
Here's my question/story: I have had anxiety
all of my life, but up until I was about 14 no one could put a name on what I had, I found out it was anxiety, and as highschool went on it got worse. I started using marijuana all of the time to control it for all of last summer, it was EXTREMELY bad! I was smoking all night, all day.. I decided I wanted to stop smoking, so I did
. That's when things got out of control. I had panic
attacks all day, and constant anxiety, worry and depression. I went to the mental hospital about a couple of weeks after quitting the pot, which is when I was perscribed these medications.
So it was a month or two ago when I felt I could control my anxiety, so I cut my klonopin's in half, and did great! I felt more alive. I decided a couple weeks ago that I wanted to slow down on my effexor, which was a terrible idea.. I cut the pill in 1/4s so I took 3 quarters of the pill for about a week and was feeling great! Then I cut it down to half a pill, the first day was good, the second day was a living hell. Everything came back, and I MEAN EVERYTHING. I was having hot flashes, my skin would get extremely red and almost have bubbles on it from how fast my mind was and is still thinking. I got back on my full dose of everything! It set me back so far, and I'm still feeling bad. My mind feels weird, my brain feels like a balloon, I want to pop it almost. I'll feel fine and happy one moment, and the next I'll be having attacks and be so tired!!!! I'm going to see my phsyc tomorrow, but I'm scared. I don't want to be on this drug anymore and I don't want to have anxiety and panic. It has ruined my life in every way possible. I'm no longer a functioning human being, and I want the opposite of that. I keep forgetting things too!
I want to be better and I'd give anything to feel better, without meds. So much to where i'd let someone take off my limbs in exchange for mental feeling better. I would do anyyyyytthing ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING TO BE NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do I tell my phyciatrist tommrow? I'm so sad
and I need help from someone thats the best of the best, XXXXX XXXXX all of my money, my car, my computer, my tv, my bed, EVERYTHING TO GET HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell me what to do, I'm burdening my family, and I feel terrible.