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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Hi, Ive recently been having terrible anxiety about something

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Hi,
I've recently been having terrible anxiety about something that happened when I was a child. When I was about 8 and my sister was about 10, we started engaging in sexual experiementation. We started touching and eventually started giving each other oral sex. It went on for several years. We are two years apart and I am the younger sibling. It's been about 20 years since then and we have never discussed it. I have had flashbacks about it during that time but have mostly tried to repress the memories. I'm wondering why all of a sudden I am so upset by this. My sister and I are close friends. Should I bring this up to her, or just forget it and discuss it with a therapist? Should I tell my husband? Please help!

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Incidents like this are fairly common

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I don't know why this has been suddenly triggered after all of these years. It is a bit of posttraumatic stress but it does not seem like PTSD.

Customer:

Hi, thank you! I think I started to think obsessively about this when I heard someting on Oprah about a celebrity having a 10 year sexual relationship with her dad. I don't think that my experience is all like that, but I think that's what got me thinking about it

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That is a reasonable trigger.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I think it was just two sisters experimenting and hasn't caused any real harm.

Customer:

I have anxiety and I've never told anyone about this. I don't know if I should just let it go. I don't want to bring it up to my sister as I think that would be awkward. We are both grown and married and she is a mom

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I do not think that you should bring this up with your husband as it might cause him unwarranted anxiety or even distorted thinking.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I do not think you should discuss this with your sister, unless she brings it up.

Customer:

That's what I was thinking.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You did nothing wrong or bad. It is just the fact that society frowns on some behavior like this, but this is so common between siblings and it was not done against your wills but rather through playful experimentation.

Customer:

If it's normal I suppose I should just accept it and stop obsessing about it

Customer:

Any suggestions on how to put this thought aside again?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you know that you are the third young woman today with similar childhood traumas with siblings or cousins? I usually don't get that many and you are the only one who has not shown any signs of problematic thinking or behavior.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


Actually, I think that this book will help you do this.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

May I recommend a book or two for you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If you feel that these thoughts keep returning then let me give you a workbook that has been effective for many of my clients.

Customer:

I think both of these will be useful. I'm in a really good place in my life so I definitely am interested in getting this thought aside.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


You must remember that you have done nothing more than playful childhood experimentation. Nobody was hurt, and it did not change your life.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

And you shall ! ! ! ! !

Customer:

Thank you! I am breathing better already. I think I just needed to get it out and tell someone.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep you in my prayers and I am satisfied that yo have already started the healing process.

Customer:

Thank you Elliott.

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