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You have a very difficult situation being so far away from your son.
What are his living conditions? Does he have a job? Family? Significant other? Income?
Are you able to bring him back to your home?
My husband and i travel for work and he lives in our home in nj. He has been socially withdrawl his entire life but now is depressed and more withdrawn after a breakup with the first girlfriend he ever had. he is so afraid to even be around strangers or new people it is keeping him from getting and maintaining a job. He has no ambition at all. We have been supporting him and cannot continue this. last month he was arressted for going into a mans house to speak to his girlfriend where she apparently was cheating on my son. He spend 5 days in jail. He goes to court next week. I know this bothers him as he has never been arrested before
Do you have other family members or close friends who can keep an eye on him? He is very depressed and that is keeping him withdrawn, it is killing his ambition, and he is also under a great deal of stress. He needs to stop self-medicating and needs to get off the pain medication. Is there any leverage that you can gently use to get hims into therapy?
What caused his girlfriend to leave him?
What was happening before that?
I am planning on returning home this weekend and try to evaluate it all. I would like to take him to a therapist but feel like I have to babysit him or he may not go again. He has no health insurance so i need to start with state help. His depression played a part in their breakup. I just dont understand how someone can be that depressed and just do nothing about it. He has always stayed in his room and to himself. I have offered and argued several times for him to go to a therapist for help. He is so lazy and I think its because of the depression. My mother was bipolar.
Does he have bipolar symptoms (i.e. mania which means he can become very euphoric, on top of the world, talk rapidly, have tons of energy, be a bit reckless in behavior, and then drop into depressive state)?
If your time is limited by your work, then you should try to make appointments in advance. If he has any possibility of being bipolar (meaning showing symptoms) then he should not be given just an antidepressant because this will make him worse. However, if he just IS depressed, than an antidepressant would be in order for him. He should be evaluated as well for alcohol or opiate addiction.
I dont think he shows signs. evn at his best his moods are not on top of the world and he is pretty consistent. not the up and down like my mother was. ahe has a low opion of himself despite the compliments we all give him. I am just lost what to do because things cannot stay the same.
Low self esteem, lack of focus, sadness, no interest, no ambition, drug and alcohol use, sluggishness, and somnolence (or insomnia) are all symptoms of depression. They can be reduced with antidepressants. They take several weeks before they actually come into full force. Once he is under a proper regime of medication then his behavior will improve.
He should also see a therapist to discuss and reframe some of the negatives in his life and try to change his thinking and behavior with psychotherapy, particularly the most common type of talk therapy called Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).
Thank you for your advice.I will try to get him into a place that can possibly help by evaluating him and maybe making a plan.Thank you for your time
I shall keep him and your entire family in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC