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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I have a sister and she has this mean attitude with me. Sometimes

Customer Question

I have a sister and she has this mean attitude with me. Sometimes when I ask her something she looks at me like I am so stupid and always looks annoyed. She tends to snap and get cranky easily. She gets angry and starts saying all bunch of things that are not true. I feel she is REALLY negative. She expects me to know what bothers her or why she is talking to me in this attitude. I know she loves me and tries to help me, but of the time when she makes me mad I start crying. This morning she took forever in the bathroom and I told her why didn't you come tell me you were done so I can go in? and she said you should know!!! But how am I suppose to know? and I was in a hurry and I was almost late to class. I started to cry a little bit, like why is she doing this to me?? I felt she did that on purpose. I suffer from this mental disorder and I felt sick in my stomach because I started to get anxiety and got dirreah. I don't understand what is bothering her??? I feel like crying right now... I am tiered of her and her attitude :'(
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear Valeria,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I am so sorry that your sorry is trying to push you buttons and make you act in a negative way.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Are you going to let her? It seems that, at least for the moment, you are letting her have the upper hand.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

For one reason or the other she seems to enjoy having this little bit of power and control over you and making you upset.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Don't give her the satisfaction any more. In that way, you will triumph and she will lose and stop messing with you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

In the morning, you can try to make it to the bathroom before she does.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You can hang a little bell on the door so that you will know when she gets out.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If she hurts your feelings, don't let her see it.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If she makes you cry, don't let her know.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Stop making it easier for her to push you around. She is probably jealous of you for some reason, but she will never tell you why, so don't bother asking.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

When you stop showing her that she is bothering you, she will stop.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Remember the book that I suggested that you purchase?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I still suggest it. This book will help you a great deal.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


I believe that I also suggested another book. If I did not, I will mention it now. Getting, reading, and learning from these books will change your life for the better.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


I have a few fabulous books that will help you enormously.

Everyday Positive Thinking by Louise Hay

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


I wish you the courage to stand up to her by ignoring her childish antics. Even if she is older, YOU have to be the bigger and more adult sister by ignoring her silly antics.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I wish you great success and shall continue to keep you in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: Other.
I want to know what is going on with her...
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Dear Valeria,

I can help you with that. I was trying first to help you dealing with the impact of her behavior on your own state of mind.

What is going on with your sister?

It seems that she may be suffering from depression. She is irritable and unhappy herself and is doing her best to upset you.

She resents the attention you get from your family and is showing her resentment in her mean treatment of you.

Because she is unhappy with her own life she is trying to make you unhappy as well.

It is not that she doesn't love you. Rather, you are an easy target, and you don't fight back much. It is true that unhappy people will often strike at the most vulnerable people, and often the safest ones. She knows that you love her and are a soft target and that is why she picks on you.

This is very common in families where the most forgiving and loving family members are often the first ones to receive the frustration driven anger of one of the family members.

I hope that this helps.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
What you are giving me is good information, but it's not what I am looking for. I need more than just knowing she has depression, I want to know why she is so unhappy, I want to know why she snaps easily, I want to know why she dislikes when people act dumb, I want to know WHY.
How should I help her??? I want to help her be aware of why she is acting that way or triggers her, so she can manage how handle this. How should I approach her that she has a problem??? How cam I help her?? :(
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 3 years ago.
Dear Valeria,

Tell me what is going on in her life? She is unhappy, she snaps, she is impatient with people BECAUSE something is not going right in her life. I cannot know what is is because I know nothing about her life.

You can make yourself available and be kind to her. You should ignore her and not react when she is mean. She will talk to you when she feels that you love her unconditionally and that you even put up with her ill temper. She will eventually come to you.

Elliott
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: Other.
Help please