Hello, I'd like to help you with your questions.
It is normal for you to feel as you do now given the trauma you have been through during your childhood. It sounds like your parents had so many issues that they might have been unable to give you the care, love and attention you needed and deserved. Because of that, you probably also did
not develop the right attachment to your parents that would have made you feel safe and able to trust others.
Not getting your basic emotional needs met as a child would create the symptoms you are experiencing now. There is most likely nothing wrong with you except that you are reacting to what you went through and are now able to experience all the emotions because you are out of the situation. While you are in it, you are surviving. But once you leave it, that is usually when the symptoms appear, just as you see with soldiers in war with PTSD. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship is a symptom of this as well.
Seeing a professional therapist would be the best way to address how you feel and help you find what you need to deal with the anxiety and other symptoms you are experiencing. A therapist can provide a safe environment for you to talk about what you feel and help support you in a way you deserve.
Anxiety medication can be helpful if you feel it would help you cope better in your daily life. Therapy is the best treatment for anxiety but medications can help you feel better until therapy begins to work for you. But it is not necessary.
You can also use self help to deal with your symptoms. The more you know, the better tools you have to help yourself. Here are some resources to help:
I hope this has helped you,