Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help you.
Have you had any medications?
Are you feeling suicidal now?
Are your thoughts racing now?
Do you feel up? Down? Still feel that you are being judged?
Does your heart beat fast? Do you get short of breath?
Do you feel that you are dying?
Just for a brief moment?
And heartbeats? Breathing? Fear?
Are you taking an medications for this?
Are you getting any counseling?
You cannot give up.
I am not a big fan of medication but sometimes it is the best circuit breaker and lets you calm down enough to get a grip on yourself.
You need to work this out with therapy. Even if you go by yourself, I suggest a marriage and family therapist.
You can't let fear of failure stop you from trying.
It teaches you how to respond without anger, without creating a negative situation.
I hope that I have helped you and I shall leave this chat open in case you wish to come back later.
Please let me know if I have helped or if I can be of further service.
I shall keep you in my prayers.