Hello. My name isXXXXX and I am an 19 year old man from Flesherton Ontario. I've suffered with severe low self-esteem, anxiety
, and depression since I was 13 years old, as a result of bullying
. After about 5 years of living with these terrible conditions, I became fed up with it and began pursuing a solution to my cognitive behavioral problems.
I eventually stumbled upon hypnosis. I began researching how hypnosis can help eliminate a persons negative self image, and replace it with new, and positive image through the use of self affirmations. I felt like I had stumbled upon the holy grail, but there was just one potential problem that seemed to threaten my success with hypnosis. "Would hypnosis work on me?"
I began to make plans to visit a local hypnotherapists but before this plan came into action, I stumbled upon a subliminal hypnosis program online called MindMaster. Because I had negative thought patterns practically hard wired into my brain, I was anything but optimistic about the results it would bring. Despite my skepticism the results where dramatic! Within days my character, my attitude, and my way of thinking had been completely transformed and flipped upside down. It allowed me to change my way of thinking completely, in any way I wanted. So much so that I practically exploded with passion and began telling all of my friends about it, and how miraculous it is. Little did
I know it would soon come crashing to a end.
Every human being has the desire to be happy, but every human being also has the desire to feel safe. My desire to become self confident stemmed from my desire to be happy and successful. But through my repetitive painful childhood experiences, my subconscious was trained to believe that such happiness leads to heart break, thus creating a conflict between my desire to be happy, and my desire to feel safe.
Based on this conflict my subconscious would resist any potential for self improvement, considering that their is a known way of doing so. And that is the exact situation I unknowingly lead myself into. Once I learned how the Subliminal hypnosis functioned, my subconscious became resistant towards it. Therefore, the ominous task of easing my mind into acceptance, was my next task, and my only hope for success.
I refused to give up, I was in too desperate need of it to just give it up so easily. I had lived so much of my life in fear that I had long forgotten how it felt to be at peace of mind. It showed me that I have huge potential in a large variety of fields that I would be interested in pursing, but I would have virtually no chance achieving such goals with almost no self confidence to speak of.
I began by realizing that if hypnosis could be used to potentially change any aspect of a persons mind, then it would be reasonable to assume that I could use hypnosis to train my subconscious to believe that it is safe to be happy. Thus destroying the conflict between the two conflicting desires, which would allow my mind to be completely submissive towards hypnotic suggestion. This was NOT a easy task but through much perseverance, and the will to keep going. I managed to nearly think my way out of this rut completely, and have a smooth sailing and successful recovery from thereon.
Deep down, the last thing my subconscious wanted to do was change, therefore i subconsciously resisted any attempt I made to create a submissive response towards hypnosis, therefore it took a lot of experimenting with different affirmations, and a lot of failures before any successes. More or less iv been doing the work of a hypnotherapist myself because I have had much success with my self diagnostics regarding my problems and solutions to problems.
But now I feel as thought I have come to a problem that ventures outside of my understanding I need help in order to target the root of a new fear that has emerged, which prevents the self affirmations from taking effect once again.
Two days ago I was having great success with hypnosis and things began to look promising, "once again". Until a particular though process invoked a deep, and complex fear that I cannot seem to identify. What I am asking for, is help in identifying this fear or tips on identifying the root of my fear, i.e. (asking myself certain questions), given the information that I can provide about the fear that is pertinent. Once I believe I have discovered the identity of the fear, I develop a positive affirmation that directly attacks and neutralizes the beliefs connected to the fear using hypnosis. But so far the root remains, despite my attempts.
Context and information:
-Mom believes hypnosis does nothing, despite the evidence of it's effectiveness on me.
-I was feeling elated about my success, and contemplating places the future would take me.
-I imaged being successful and proving to my Mom that its effective.
But the thought of that, or the failure of that Invoked the fear.