Thanks for your question.
I'm terribly sorry to hear about what you've been going through with your husband. Sometimes it is very difficult to recognize these problems until it gets to a critical point, but you are obviously open to working on the relationship and making some changes, and that is very important moving foward. Despite your husband having a hard time with this, there are still some encouraging signs. The fact that he is willing to go to counseling with you at all does show that even though he is hurt, there is still some side of him that is willing to explore the idea of making this relationship work. Because of that, there is still certainly hope that things can improve as long as you both stick with it.
Sometimes during the course of counseling things can actually feel like they are getting worse before they get better. He is having the opportunity to express a lot of feelings that it sounds like he has been holding inside for a long time, and that can be a very difficult process to go through and bring up a lot of the old anger/resentment. However it is important for your relationship in the long term for him to be able to express all of this and go through those feeling so that he can eventually get past it and put it aside in order to move forward. Despite the fact that he is saying that he can't see things changing, just the fact that he is able to express himself and that you are listening and being there for him can help that change occur.
As long as he is still willing to go to counseling with you and process these feelings, there is still hope that things will start to improve. You are approaching all of this from a different perspective than you may have in the past, and it may take a little while for him to see that and feel like he is in the right frame of mind to give this a proper chance again. The things he has said have all got to be very difficult to hear, however the hope is that given the chance to express his frustrations and be taken seriously, you will both eventually be able to start working together to make the changes you both need to be happy.
I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help please let me know.