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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about this frustrating situation.
It seems that what may be happening here as you said is much about your sons getting older, but perhaps it is also about such changes leading them to want to do different things and the lack of further close communication and intimacy in your relationship. They do seem to care about you but also value much more the time they could spend indoors playing video games than doing any other healthier activity, where you could all share as a family. You said they have no chores at home whatsoever, then I wonder how have you taught them to be responsible, more empathetic and to value what is more important and worthy in life?
Children are selfish by nature, thus empathy needs to be taught through concrete behaviors where they do learn about it and it's basically about they getting responsibilities according to their age, development and skills, which should happen from early childhood. If a 12 and a 14 year old children do not have responsibilities towards their mother, little sibling and the family-home as a whole, they would not have the very best means to develop the essential assertiveness, sensitivity, caring and accountability. Nowadays technology is overwhelming and many times not in positive ways, it could literally alienate children and adults from reality, to the point of replacing core values and interests, thus children could easily prefer spent several hours watching TV or playing video games instead of practicing sports or healthy games with other children and family. It's parents responsibility to raise them learning how to value things with a wise approach, int hat way it would become natural for them to set the right priorities, using healthy use of their intelligence and other skills.
Does it make sense?
Hello. You do not mention the relationship between the boys and their father? If the father is accessible, I have little doubt that they need a father-figure/male influence in their lives at this stage - if possible. If this is not possible, it is important to try to introduce 'new' interests, to divert their focus from those less important things such as the play station. With a little baby, I realise this is probably not easy, but there might be activities they have not yet experienced that would appeal to their sense of adventure or curiosity, which they could attend without you feeling the need to be present. The list of organisations that cater for youth in that age bracket, is extensive, so it might help if you sat down with them and discussed the importance of finding more productive ways to spend their time. If there is a father in the equation, is it possible for them to spend time with him? They are at an age where a male influence in their lives might spark a little more enthusiasm or motivation towards venturing further than the lounge room and tv. If this influence cannot be acquired via the father, there are plenty of activities that are run by men who can offer the sort of support and encouragement this age-group yearn for. Your concerns are justified and it must cause you a certain amount of concern otherwise you would not seek advice. However, the most important thing is that you feel you provide the sort of environment and choices for them to realise their true potential. As a parent this is one of the things that enables us to feel a sense of pride, when our children develop interests, can commit to following through to see results, become competent in their efforts to find their preferences in life and become emotionally fulfilled individuals as a result of our efforts to get them where they deserve to be.