Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this overwhelmingly serious and painful situation.
Bipolar disorder is in fact a chronic mental health disorder, but when treated with adequate psychotherapeutic and psychiatric support could allow real chances for rehabilitation, thus to for the person to rebuild a healthy and productive life. But without adequate treatment it would be unrealisitc to expect that the person's situation would get any better. the tendency would be for it to get worse, even more if to this serious disorder is added polysubstance abuse-dependency, which deeply complicaate her chances for rehabilitation.
She would need consistent and intensive psychotherapeutic and psychiatric treatment for BP and polysubstance abuse, plus a very healthy and assertive support system being there to help her commit to her rehabilitation process. But if she does not choose to fully acknowledge her reality, taking full responsibility for her choices and actions, and commits to therapy, then no potential support would be able to help her.
Does it make sense?
So that means that if she wil be not treated with right medication it will get even worse. Did You know anyone with the same symptoms who withstanded this situation and lives normal live without alcohol?
Unhappily I have not known neither heard about anybody with active manic and depressive episodes this serious, and presenting polysubstance abuse while not getting any professional treatment who got better.
This is very sad and frustrating for anybody in your shoes, but it is necessary for you to be fully aware of reality in order to cope and take good care of yourself too.
She used to tell me that she had alcohol problems long time ago but now I know that this is just the part of her dessise. She probbably did not told me the truth fut just the part of it. But after I witnessed 3 alcoholic episodes than it was clear what is going on. Now we are separated, cos I told her that the borderline wes crosser and she must take her response for this I mean not guilty but simply that i cannot stend this anymor cos it is killing me. Now I am jus wondering if it is wise to give her one omer chance after she returns fw that this from hospital but i know somehow that this idea is not so ... But i am just looking how fhings gonna be ...
I understand. sadly it seems to be the case. People suffering of addictions as well as people with BP do present serious issues around lack of honesty, denial, avoidance, manipulation, neglect and abuse in relationships and many others. it is tough for loved ones wishing to help, since many times codependency gets in the way leading to enabling the very addictions and dysfunctions destroying the person and those around her. You're wise setting and keeping healthy and clear boundaries and limits, otherwise you would expose to further manipulation and dysfunction, which for sure would not help her in her rehabilitation process but deepen her distortions and disorders. Every form of support should be offered within healthy boundaries and never allowing nor enabling any form of abuse from the other person. As you said, without her taking full responsibility as an adult for her choices, actions and rehabilitation process, there is nobody who could do anything to help her, and she needs to come to terms with reality and start affording consequences for her to get chances for rehabilitation.
Thank You Rafael, I will do my best to solve this situation however it is very painful but it seems that nobody could hepl her if she will not fight with it alone. What would You suggest her to do after returning from clinic? And one more time the question if You know somebody who was cured under professional support?
Maybe not cured but stabilised
I support you and your plans. yes, she needs to want to rehabilitate and work on it if she wants to have real chances instead of getting worse. Unhappily there is no cure for bipolar disorder neither for addictions, but rehabilitation is real, it is a life time process that is viable and could lead to a healthy , productive and enjoyable life, but the those who got into it are those who truly hold full accountability for their own process and work hard on it with consistent professional and family support.
...but only those who got into their rehabilitation process are those who truly hold full accountability...
Thanks a lot and bye. Ivan