Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
Thank you for requesting my support . I am very sorry to know about the overwhelming pain from trauma, abuse and grief you experienced three years ago, and the impact they have had in your life to the present. Being a victim of sexual abuse trauma and having unresolved grief is just tough, and without necessary professional psychotherapeutic support, anybody in your shoes would become deeply overwhelmed and probably unable to function, developing depressive mood, anxiety problems and any other mental health condition due to the trauma, unresolved grief and from all the repressed feelings from the sexual abuse you underwent.
Being harassed by customers or anybody just retraumatizes you deepening past traumas which is something absolutely unacceptable that must end. You are right when stating that living in denial for this long has not helped but destructed your life. Please, from this first initiative do take consistent action and look for professional support, getting individual psychotherapy to work on rehabilitating from the sexual abuse, grief, and depression. It's sad that your father has become abusive too, once you are so attached to him and want to support him so much too. There is a lot of work to be done, but with necessary support you could rehabilitate and grow stronger , please do not delay getting intensive psychotherapy as soon as possible. If you see that the fact you feel so overwhelmed would not allow outpatient therapy to work for you, then after initial psychological assessment, discuss with mental health professional your treatment options and what would be the best approach to start your rehabilitation process taking into account your specific reality, needs and responsibilities.
there are many NGOs - organizations providing mental health and other forms of support to women victims of sexual abuse. Please also look for them. the more support you get, the better your chances for healing and grow. Psychotherapist and other mental health professionals supporting you would request your records and get in touch with your neurologist in order to become familiar with your medical problem and to discuss how to better assist you. Taking this initiative you have already started your rehabilitation process, please stick to it until you get all the support you need and deserve to build and enjoy the life you long for. Thank you for your trust.
You're very welcome.