About 7 years ago, i started getting racing thoughts, and it got so bad i had trouble falling a sleep for about a month , i was crying because i had enough. Then one morning I woke up with a blank mind and ever since then its been downhill. Whilst i function on autopilot, i have no thoughts (like when you hear people say i can't hear myself think), well its just silence. Not only can i hot hearmyself think, ie. reading a book, i just to be able to hear my thoughts, i don't. I cant visualise anymore its just dark, so I can't do math which i use to visualise the numbers. Also memory is a problem now, because i don't see my momories. Obviously it has effected my life, and my learning capabilities, although its hard for people to comprehend, especially as they say how come we are talking etc, i presume this has something to do with concious and unconcious thoughts. If you ask me if i am depresed, i can't tell you because i can't hear my thoughts although i know i am sad cause of the consequences. Is there a solution to this?
Thanks for taking the time I just want to clairfy as when asking the question it limited me on space.
1) It is only in the recent years i been down, because i can't learn, remember, enjoy things, etc. The first few years i just became more and more stupid.
2) In my early twenties i started having memory problems, I know this because i started buying books on how to improve the memory.
3) At the same time of the initial memory problems, i also my libidio started going down and i suffered from headaces (maybe not related)
4) The racing thoughts, got faster and faster over a period of month maybe more. I started suffering from insomnia, despite taking sleeping pills i could not sleep, until i wished it stopped. Shortly after i woke up with a blank mind, and been that way ever since.
5) I cant remember because i can't visualise, i know because before i used to practice NLP and i was visual person, and i used to it do well in my work.
6) Recently i am very impatient, cut people off when they are talking, can't concentrate etc - this sounds like the ADHD.
7) Its not my mind feels blank it is blank. Most people might experience in this life for seconds or minutes in periods of extreme stress, shock or something. I used to be able to hear my inner dialog, or whatever you call this.
8) Without my inner dialogue, i can't learn , memorize, enjoy music or even enjoy getting drunk.
9) Prior to the racing thoughts one of my friends who met up with regulary said i kept on repeating my self during conversations
10) Now i constantly wake up during the night, i done a sleep test and they said i was fine, despite the fact i woke up 7 times during the night of the test
I am big believer that you do depression by thinking negative thoughts, but because i can't hear myself think, how can i be depressed? When trying to explain what i am experiencing to doctors i start to cry, because i hear what i am saying (virtual inner diaglogue) and that is when i realise what it going on.
Based upon on this new information, does this reenforce what you think or does this new information point things in another direction?
Have people taking medication for this who said they have a permanent blank mind later recovered and then got rid of this?
p.s i tried the test it said its likely, but something of things which in the past i would of answered in one way, is now different because of stage and progression of my symptoms, other wise it probably would of been worse. Please advise.
Thanks again, one last question. I am going to see Dr about this, what do I say to them as now you have mentioned a couple of different meds are they for the same thing or has the diagnosis changed with the new info?