I am sorry to know about the multiple health issues, depression, anxiety, isolation and the marital problems you have been undergoing for so long.
Can you read what I type?
Good, I am so glad the chat interface is allowing us to communicate. many times it doesn't work fine.
I cannot imagine how tough it could be to be in your shoes trying to cope with these multiple life issues, from physical and mental health problems to marital issues.
It's truly sad to know none of your children support you at all.
Staying isolated and without a meaningful and fulfilling life could never help people to rehabilitate from medical problems nor from depression, anxiety or from any other condition.
Your situation is truly sad, but the fact that you have taken this initiative to look for professional support shows your insight and willingness to work on making changes.
That's very sad and painful, and only you know how it feels, unhappily there is nothing you could do to control what he chooses to do, and it is obvious he has made very bad choices in life and created not a good reality for him nor for those around him. But you need to focus on taking better care of yourself, that's your first right and need, make of it your first and priority too.
Now I see why the nightmares got that strong, with all these issues and stressors, and without any support, anybody in your shoes would get easily overwhelmed. Then the need to get regular psychotherapeutic support becomes obvious and I hope you get things not that hard finding the professional you need and deserve as we previously discussed.
That cannot be easy, but the only thing you can do is to try to better cope and get around the best possible support, from people able and willing to help you, to professionals competent and caring enough to offer some good support.
For chronic problems regular support is very important, since there are not easy ways to fix things, it is always a process, takes time, effort and good tools, and it starts by you allowing yourself to become truly and unconditionally gentle, understanding, compassionate and supportive with yourself, since it is from there that you would be able to cope and take good care of your rehabilitation process.