Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
As with any phobia, it is not about what you fear but what you feel when you are around what you fear. Many people fear common things and many fear rare things, such as your fear of children. But the basis for all fears is the reaction you have when you face that feared situation or thing.
The reason you fear children could be a variety of things. Most of the time, the basis of a fear comes from some type of trauma, usually in childhood. You go through a very difficult time, suffer a loss or are abused. What you go through triggers fears and your fear attaches onto an object or situation. That object or situation becomes where you put your fears from then on. So when you face the object of your fear, such as children, you experience a reaction that causes you to feel anxious. When you are anxious, your thoughts are causing your mind to think your in danger, such as when you think about kids or are near them. Your body reacts by releasing adrenaline into your system. Adrenaline cause you to feel the body symptoms that are common with a phobia. It is much like after you have had a bad scare except with phobia, you focus on the feared object or situation rather than the original cause. This causes a loop where you fear children because you fear the response you have when you are around them. They are not something to fear themselves because if that was so, everyone would fear children. So it is what you feel when you are around them that really frightens you.
The good news is that phobias and anxiety
are easy to treat with therapy. In therapy, you learn to pay attention to what you are thinking to make yourself anxious when you are around children. The therapist then can help you change your thoughts and therefore how your body reacts to your thoughts when you think about kids or are around them. You also can learn about how to let yourself float through the anxiety you feel around children, thereby gaining more control over how you feel. When anxiety comes on, you allow it to flow over you without tensing or panicking in response. This makes the anxiety reduce or go away faster and therefore makes it easier to be around kids. To find a therapist, talk to your doctor about a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
You can also help yourself at home. There are numerous resources to help you learn more about phobias and anxiety. Here are some to get you started:
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne is excellent for any fears. It is self help and contains everything from supplements to relaxation techniques.
The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Program by Bill Knaus Ed.D. and Jon Carlson Psy.D. Ed.D.
to Power: Proven Techniques to Calm Your Anxieties, Conquer Your Fears, and Put You in Control of Your Life by Lucinda Bassett
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
I hope this has helped you,