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Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
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I have been spending the past few years OKMH324211

Customer Question

I have been spending the past few years thinking that there is something wrong with me. As I've been getting older and being thrown more and more into the real world, I have noticed that my way of thinking is a lot different from others. 1- I don't really like meeting new people at all. 2. I don't enjoy crowds, parties, clubs. I have to force myself to go out even though I honestly prefer to just take a walk or play video games. 3. If I don't have my alone time I will go crazy! I feel like my brain hits overdrive and needs time to sort everything out. Even the smallest details. I need time to sit and register my day, my week, my month, my problems big or small, and all of the encounters I have made. I need my alone time just me and my mind. And the strangest part is that I LOVE being alone. I feel no pressure to talk to anyone, try to find the right things to say, i don't have to try and be interesting enough for another person, and I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing. Besides my mind is enough company to keep me entertained. 4. My mind never stops running, to the point that it drives my crazy. I think and think and over analyze everything to the point of over kill. My very few friendships, work, my day, yesterday, tomorrow, things that have happened, may happen, or may never even happen, and the worst is when I over think life itself. I try and try to think of a meaning and if my meaning is even important to the point that I can make myself spiral into a crazy depression. Then all of my thoughts go dark, which is pretty bad for a person who is constantly thinking. I know its completely irrational but I can get stuck in this funk for months at a time sometimes, and it really worries me. I don't really know how to express my emotions. 5. When it comes to other people's emotions and problems it is so easy for me to pick their situation apart and give them a helpful answer or find a silver lining. People have often told me to become a therapist or a counselor. But when it comes to my emotions, I just don't know how to handle them. Sadness, occasionally loneliness (but not felling alone, but more like feeling that no one really understands me, I know a little dramatic) and now I have a new one...love. Ugh! When I was younger I was completely disconnected with my emotions. I kept to myself, made only the grades I needed to graduate no more no less, I didn't really think much of myself or really thought I'd make much of myself, and I had very little friends. After I graduated these friends didn't even last a year, and the sickest part is that I didn't really care at all. To me friends were more just to fill my time and at least pretend that I was connected to this world. Now my life is becoming more complicated because I am finding myself forming a very close friendship and I was completely unaware that caring about a person was so complicated. I almost want to isolate myself again but I know that that will only make my funk worse and make me very unhappy. It feels pretty good to share this with someone for the first time, and hopefully you can shed some light on my oddness. Thank you very much -Miraya

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

My name is XXXXX XXXXX I am the moderator for this topic. I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you, but sometimes finding the right professional can take a little longer than expected, as the Professionals come online at varying times. I wonder whether you would like to continue waiting for an answer…hopefully it won’t take too much longer. Please let me know, and I will continue my search. If you’d prefer not to wait, please tell me, and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!

Camille - Moderator

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I would be more than happy to wait. This is honestly my last resort for help because even though I have tried I can't seem to concur this alone. I would love to see a professional in person but for the time being I don't have the finances for that luxury.


Thank you very much for your effort!


Miraya

Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.
Hello,
I would like to help you with your question Miraya.

I am going to take a few minutes here to read your posting and then to reply.

For the moment however, I wanted to let you know that you question will be answered.

Thank you.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you very much. I will be patiently waiting :)

Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.
Hello again,
I've read through your post and appreciate that you provided so much detail. Really.

I don't find you odd at all...rather, I find you as quite a normal 19 year old who is attempting to understand herself and her world. That you are comfortable with being alone, and even perfer it at times, is a perfectly normal situation. As you know, some people prefer to be engaged with lots of people and quite outgoing. These are called extroverts. Those who prefer their own company are called introverts. These are actually preferences...meaning how we prefer to interact in the world. All of us have some of each of these traits...and a fair number of people can easily slide back and forth between these two preferences. There is no right or wrong to which preference you have!!

The funk you get in may be mild depression..or it just might be low mood as a result of so much inner dialogue. You wrote that it was helpful to just write out your post...that suggests to me that it would be helpful for you to consider journaling as a way to get your inside thoughts out! Or, of course, you could confide in a friend. Even starting your own blog might be a great way to get some of those feelings and thoughts out.

As to your comments about not knowing how to handle your emotions. This, too, is very common. Most often the issue is not being "taught" how to recognize our felt emotions and/or not being allowed to express those felt emotions. So...if our mother says "stop crying you're acting like a baby". If we hear this over and over, guess what happens? We learn that crying is something only babies do and, because we don't want to be called a baby, we stop crying. Our true feelings then must be ignored, or shoved down or somehow made to go away.

So...I wonder if something like that happened to you....that is, that your felt emotions were not allowed and you learned to turn them off or ignore them.

I'm going to suggest a good book for you:

Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns

I await your response.
Thanks.
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience: Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
Dr. L and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you so much for your answer. You put me much more at ease. I had a feeling I should get a second opinion because the first doctor was trying to tell me that I had schizoid personality disorder and bipolar 2, which sounded wayyy overboard.


I can live with the introverted personality, it actually makes a lot of sense and fits me pretty well; but I'm still worried about my depressed moods. They tend to get really out of hand to the point that I can't even think straight. They are bouts of self loathing, emptiness, and a weird feeling that I have no purpose. It really bugs me because I know that that is not a very rational way to think because everyone has a purpose, but for some reason when I get into these moods there is no way out. It can last for months. I really started to notice these moods at a pretty young age. I believe I was 14 when I first started noticing these sad thoughts and feelings. I spent half of my freshman year without a single friend because I was too lost in my own sad mind.

Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.
Hello...
I'm sorry that you experience these negative mood swings. I can understand why you find them so difficult. It could be mild depression, but I'm also wondering about your menstrual cycle and if what is happening is more about low estrogen. I would encourage you to see your family physician or an ob/gyn if possible.

You might even start charting these mood changes and see if they are in sync with your period.

You are absolutely right that we all have a purpose. Partly why they spin out of control is that you likely don't have the necessary coping skills to pull yourself out. That's were journaling will be helpful and even doing something like volunteering in a nursing home or social service agencies might be helpful. It would seem to me that you need some inspiration...some ways of seeing more of the richness of life.

I'm going to suggest a good book series that I really find inspirational, especially for women. Please look for the Earth People series by Jean Auel. This is a fascinating series of books about early man/woman and how a particular young girl comes to become part of a "clan".

I'm also going to leave you with a little exercise as a way to get you focused on your own success in life. That exercise is to make a list of 50 things you want to accomplish by the time you are 50. The sky is the limit for this list...don't worry about money or ability or anything. It might take you a few days to get this list together...but that's just fine. After the list is written, I want you to put it in a place you look at every day..that might be the closet door, a mirror, wherever.

Let me know what you are thinking about my post...
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you again :) You have really helped me a lot. I am going to make this list, and try writing in my journal more often.


And I like your posts because you don't make me feel like a moody teenager or a crazy person. I know that I am still young but I consider myself more of a young adult than a teenager. I graduated when I was 16 and have been working and going to school since then, and I really don't think its fair when I am not taken seriously because of my age. So I really appreciate the fact that you answer me as an adult and not as a child. It seems like you are very passionate about what you do and maybe one day I will be helping people out just like you do.


Anyway, enough with the mushy stuff. Thank you again doctor and I hope you have a great day.

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Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.
It's been my honor to help you! I appreciate the compliments...and absolutely I could tell from your writing that you are no kid...that, in fact, you are a young adult!!
Check out the book series I suggested...I think you will really like it and see the difference one person can make in the world!
Take care...

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