I have been spending the past few years thinking that there is something wrong with me. As I've been getting older and being thrown more and more into the real world, I have noticed that my way of thinking is a lot different from others. 1- I don't really like meeting new people at all. 2. I don't enjoy crowds, parties, clubs. I have to force myself to go out even though I honestly prefer to just take a walk or play video games. 3. If I don't have my alone time I will go crazy! I feel like my brain hits overdrive and needs time to sort everything out. Even the smallest details. I need time to sit and register my day, my week, my month, my problems big or small, and all of the encounters I have made. I need my alone time just me and my mind. And the strangest part is that I LOVE being alone. I feel no pressure to talk to anyone, try to find the right things to say, i don't have to try and be interesting enough for another person, and I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing. Besides my mind is enough company to keep me entertained. 4. My mind never stops running, to the point that it drives my crazy. I think and think and over analyze everything to the point of over kill. My very few friendships, work, my day, yesterday, tomorrow, things that have happened, may happen, or may never even happen, and the worst is when I over think life itself. I try and try to think of a meaning and if my meaning is even important to the point that I can make myself spiral into a crazy depression. Then all of my thoughts go dark, which is pretty bad for a person who is constantly thinking. I know its completely irrational but I can get stuck in this funk for months at a time sometimes, and it really worries me. I don't really know how to express my emotions. 5. When it comes to other people's emotions and problems it is so easy for me to pick their situation apart and give them a helpful answer or find a silver lining. People have often told me to become a therapist or a counselor. But when it comes to my emotions, I just don't know how to handle them. Sadness, occasionally loneliness (but not felling alone, but more like feeling that no one really understands me, I know a little dramatic) and now I have a new one...love. Ugh! When I was younger I was completely disconnected with my emotions. I kept to myself, made only the grades I needed to graduate no more no less, I didn't really think much of myself or really thought I'd make much of myself, and I had very little friends. After I graduated these friends didn't even last a year, and the sickest part is that I didn't really care at all. To me friends were more just to fill my time and at least pretend that I was connected to this world. Now my life is becoming more complicated because I am finding myself forming a very close friendship and I was completely unaware that caring about a person was so complicated. I almost want to isolate myself again but I know that that will only make my funk worse and make me very unhappy. It feels pretty good to share this with someone for the first time, and hopefully you can shed some light on my oddness. Thank you very much -Miraya
My name is XXXXX XXXXX X am the moderator for this topic. I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you, but sometimes finding the right professional can take a little longer than expected, as the Professionals come online at varying times. I wonder whether you would like to continue waiting for an answer…hopefully it won’t take too much longer. Please let me know, and I will continue my search. If you’d prefer not to wait, please tell me, and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!
Camille - Moderator
I would be more than happy to wait. This is honestly my last resort for help because even though I have tried I can't seem to concur this alone. I would love to see a professional in person but for the time being I don't have the finances for that luxury.
Thank you very much for your effort!
Thank you very much. I will be patiently waiting :)
Thank you so much for your answer. You put me much more at ease. I had a feeling I should get a second opinion because the first doctor was trying to tell me that I had schizoid personality disorder and bipolar 2, which sounded wayyy overboard.
I can live with the introverted personality, it actually makes a lot of sense and fits me pretty well; but I'm still worried about my depressed moods. They tend to get really out of hand to the point that I can't even think straight. They are bouts of self loathing, emptiness, and a weird feeling that I have no purpose. It really bugs me because I know that that is not a very rational way to think because everyone has a purpose, but for some reason when I get into these moods there is no way out. It can last for months. I really started to notice these moods at a pretty young age. I believe I was 14 when I first started noticing these sad thoughts and feelings. I spent half of my freshman year without a single friend because I was too lost in my own sad mind.
Thank you again :) You have really helped me a lot. I am going to make this list, and try writing in my journal more often.
And I like your posts because you don't make me feel like a moody teenager or a crazy person. I know that I am still young but I consider myself more of a young adult than a teenager. I graduated when I was 16 and have been working and going to school since then, and I really don't think its fair when I am not taken seriously because of my age. So I really appreciate the fact that you answer me as an adult and not as a child. It seems like you are very passionate about what you do and maybe one day I will be helping people out just like you do.
Anyway, enough with the mushy stuff. Thank you again doctor and I hope you have a great day.
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