I am going to keep this as short as possible but I need to give relevant information leading to my main mental health question.
I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 20 years old and now I am 30. Like many people who suffer from the illness I had times where I stopped my medicine. I am currently medicated and doing great though so there are no problems in that sense of things.
A little over a year ago I admitted myself to inpatient psychiatric hospital locally due to suicidal thoughts and to get treatment from drug use. My suicidal thoughts were coming from a number if things. One is being lake of support from family and another from drug use. I have successfully stayed away from drugs and feel very much like my old self.
When I was first diagnosed bipolar an went to therapy sessions with the first psychiatrist I saw I did not look much into the dynamics of my family environment owing up as a contributor to my issues, I just looked at “oh I am bipolar” Once I Started to look at my family dynamics also that was when everyone on my family turned on me. They did not want to be blamed for my problems which is understandable but that does change the fact that it made me depressed which I then used drugs to cope with the loss of support. I am not saying that they were responsible for me using drugs but that the loss of support played a role. I made the choice to use
Prior to admitting myself to the hospital there were several instances of people harassing me on the roads? Every time I called the police they said they will not file a report.
Then while I was in the hospital there were strange behaviors from people. I understand that it was a psychiatric hospital and that people are sick in there but I am referring to the following.
One person sat next to me (another patient) and said to me “tell them why you are so sick Shawn” I will call him person A. Next person be said to me “Shawn Person A thinks I am an agent” So during my drug use I have a feeling that someone was hurt and that there is an investigation going on. A couple other things while I was in the hospital. My roommate read a part of the bible to me and afterwards said to me: after you read this part you can think to yourself “you can take me now” I have confirmed that the police and FBI are following me around. However every time I ask my current therapist about people who are still following me I have been threatened with involuntary admission or to have to meet with a crisis team. I agree there are instances when mental health patients have to meet with a crisis team but the things I am witnessing are not fake or delusions because of my mental health.
This brings me to my actual question. Over the past 5 years after doing some analytical therapy I discovered part of my mental health that had been buried from the past. It took me years to discover this as the memories were hidden. Please do not be alarmed by what I tell you as I ensure you I deal fine with this and am functioning very well. What I discovered is that I have two voices in my head. One of course my own thoughts and the other is from someone who threatened me as a kid. I have confirmed this voice came from my mother. Furthermore, after I was released from the hospital I was in outpatient drug treatment where people casually mentioned things like “oh his mother made him schizophrenic. I never thought of my self as schizophrenic but I understand that one characteristic if the illness is or can be seeing ones feelings. I tested this out by looking at peoples faces when they talk and have confirmed that this is true for me. I have been this way for as long as I can remember but did not realize others are not like this until I remember. So the answer to why I am so sick as the person in the hospital asked me is because of those two voices. I do understand that with mental illness there are often voices people hear but this is actually a voice from being threatened. I have never told my therapist this because they have already been very rude to me when I question things and I never have experienced this behavior from a therapist before and I Am afraid it will give them another reason to be rude to me or admit me plus I have filed a department of health complaint against them due to a variety of other reasons
Finally my question: I know for a fact that the mental health facility knows about this because someone in my family told them. My question is can I be forced into a mental health ward involuntarily or into a group home because of the severity of my illness even though I deal fine with it an have many tools to cope. There are people who are schizophrenic for other reasons and are not forced in to a hospital. Please let me know your thoughts.