How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. L Your Own Question

Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
63993671
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. L is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have been in and out of mild to medium depression for about

Resolved Question:

I have been in and out of mild to medium depression for about four years since the end of my first long term and only proper relationship when I was 20. Since then I have gradually become more cynical about life and women and half of the time I experience a deep loneliness. Even though I have family who love me and a few good friends I still feel completely alone.

I seem to function and survive and can enjoy things like sport, games and my work. However, when works ceases to be interesting or challenging and/or I have unsuccessful encounter with an initially interested woman, it really hits deep and brings up all my insecurities and hurt from my first relationship to the point where life seems pointless and even the most basic things seems difficult to do. I know I will bounce back but I am still extremely pessimistic at my chance of a healthy loving relationship and life.

I guess it is important to note that before my relationship and as a young teenager I also struggled with basic day to day activities.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

First, I am very sorry that you had such a strange encounter with the psychologist. It likely is good that those sessions ended as I fear that you may have been eventually harmed by her attitude. While hitting your mother would have been a poor choice, it certainly is a common thought amongst teens as they focus on growing up and moving away from home.

Dr. L :

What are you doing about your mild depression? Do you take medication? Do you see a therapist now?

Dr. L :

I understand the loneliness you speak of. In part, this is tied in to your depression and the sense that you are "alone" in the world and that everyone else is happy and content. When we compare ourselves to others we naturally come up short...believing that everyone else has it better than we do.

Dr. L :

Of course, this is far from the truth. Everyone hits bumps in the road from time to time. That's life.

Dr. L :

Could you be happier? Could you enjoy life more? Could you have more energy? Sure. Likely the pessimistic attitude you carry today is because you are measuring yourself against others and also are depressed. Depression is not a state of mind - you can't snap your fingers and get happy. Rather, depression is a treatable disease.

Dr. L :

Thank goodness that you somehow snapped out of it before. And..that might happen again. However, I would encourage you to take an active approach by considering medication and/or therapy.

Dr. L :

I am also going to suggest a good book:

Dr. L :

Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns

Dr. L :

This is an easy to use and very popular book.

Dr. L :

Let me know what you are thinking about my response.

Dr. L :

Thanks!

Customer:

Hi and thanks for the advice,

Customer:

yeh I would never actually hit her but I would be pushed to situations where I felt like I had no way to handle her on and off verbal and emotional abuse - especially when I was going through a bad spot myself. tha it was just a feeling rather than something I would actually do. We get along well as long as we are not living together.

Customer:

I have never taken medication and I am not seeing a therapist now. I would prefer not to take medication and it would be quite expensive for me as a starting young professional to pay for regular psychological sessions...also I am apprehensive about seeking help since my last experience wasn't exactly helpful.

Customer:

My two sisters and both my parents have tried anti depresents though.

Dr. L :

Hi...

Customer:

Hi

Customer:

I will have a look at that book.

Dr. L :

I understand what you are saying about being pushed to your limits and then having the thought of pushing her in order to stop her. It's a thought...not an action. The psychologist should have seen it that way and not been so ready to put you down. As I said...it was a good thing the therapy ended. But, yes, it did leave a bad taste in your mouth and you are uncertain whether you would try that again. I ask you please to set that experience aside and not use it to judge all people in that profession.

Dr. L :

Yes...please get the book. It is very good!

Dr. L :

As to medication...I can understand why you would not want to take it...many people do not want to have to rely on medication. Study after study indicates that the best treatment for depression is medication and therapy. However, what I see happening is really a mild case of depression...so you have some options. 1) a low dose anti-depressant 2) therapy 3) both

Dr. L :

Now...I do think there is the possibility that were you to take a low dose of an anti-depressant you may not need to take it for very long.

Customer:

We have a history of drug/alcohol dependence and depression in my family so I am quite reluctant to take any drug. As soon as I start feeling bad I try not to drink also.

Dr. L :

These are just my thoughts...you must make a decision based on what you believe is best for you.

Dr. L :

I can understand your hesitation on the medication. I'm glad you don't drink when you feel low...that's great!

Customer:

It is good for me to get my thoughts of my chest so even being able to ask the question/get some feedback has made me feel a lot better. I definitely need some kind of therapy to deal with my issues about my mum and relationships ect I just am not sure when.

Customer:

Thanks for your help. I will get and read that book and see how I feel afterwards.

Dr. L :

I'm glad you are finding this helpful.

Customer:

It has been good to get this stuff off my chest thanks mate.

Customer:

how do I mark this chat as useful?

Dr. L :

You are very welcome!

Customer:

nm I found it

Customer:

: )

Dr. L :

Okay!

Dr. L :

Take care!

Customer:

You too

Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience: Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
Dr. L and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education