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Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1168
Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
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I have been in and out of mild to medium depression for about

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I have been in and out of mild to medium depression for about four years since the end of my first long term and only proper relationship when I was 20. Since then I have gradually become more cynical about life and women and half of the time I experience a deep loneliness. Even though I have family who love me and a few good friends I still feel completely alone.

I seem to function and survive and can enjoy things like sport, games and my work. However, when works ceases to be interesting or challenging and/or I have unsuccessful encounter with an initially interested woman, it really hits deep and brings up all my insecurities and hurt from my first relationship to the point where life seems pointless and even the most basic things seems difficult to do. I know I will bounce back but I am still extremely pessimistic at my chance of a healthy loving relationship and life.

I guess it is important to note that before my relationship and as a young teenager I also struggled with basic day to day activities.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

First, I am very sorry that you had such a strange encounter with the psychologist. It likely is good that those sessions ended as I fear that you may have been eventually harmed by her attitude. While hitting your mother would have been a poor choice, it certainly is a common thought amongst teens as they focus on growing up and moving away from home.

Dr. L :

What are you doing about your mild depression? Do you take medication? Do you see a therapist now?

Dr. L :

I understand the loneliness you speak of. In part, this is tied in to your depression and the sense that you are "alone" in the world and that everyone else is happy and content. When we compare ourselves to others we naturally come up short...believing that everyone else has it better than we do.

Dr. L :

Of course, this is far from the truth. Everyone hits bumps in the road from time to time. That's life.

Dr. L :

Could you be happier? Could you enjoy life more? Could you have more energy? Sure. Likely the pessimistic attitude you carry today is because you are measuring yourself against others and also are depressed. Depression is not a state of mind - you can't snap your fingers and get happy. Rather, depression is a treatable disease.

Dr. L :

Thank goodness that you somehow snapped out of it before. And..that might happen again. However, I would encourage you to take an active approach by considering medication and/or therapy.

Dr. L :

I am also going to suggest a good book:

Dr. L :

Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns

Dr. L :

This is an easy to use and very popular book.

Dr. L :

Let me know what you are thinking about my response.

Dr. L :

Thanks!

Customer:

Hi and thanks for the advice,

Customer:

yeh I would never actually hit her but I would be pushed to situations where I felt like I had no way to handle her on and off verbal and emotional abuse - especially when I was going through a bad spot myself. tha it was just a feeling rather than something I would actually do. We get along well as long as we are not living together.

Customer:

I have never taken medication and I am not seeing a therapist now. I would prefer not to take medication and it would be quite expensive for me as a starting young professional to pay for regular psychological sessions...also I am apprehensive about seeking help since my last experience wasn't exactly helpful.

Customer:

My two sisters and both my parents have tried anti depresents though.

Dr. L :

Hi...

Customer:

Hi

Customer:

I will have a look at that book.

Dr. L :

I understand what you are saying about being pushed to your limits and then having the thought of pushing her in order to stop her. It's a thought...not an action. The psychologist should have seen it that way and not been so ready to put you down. As I said...it was a good thing the therapy ended. But, yes, it did leave a bad taste in your mouth and you are uncertain whether you would try that again. I ask you please to set that experience aside and not use it to judge all people in that profession.

Dr. L :

Yes...please get the book. It is very good!

Dr. L :

As to medication...I can understand why you would not want to take it...many people do not want to have to rely on medication. Study after study indicates that the best treatment for depression is medication and therapy. However, what I see happening is really a mild case of depression...so you have some options. 1) a low dose anti-depressant 2) therapy 3) both

Dr. L :

Now...I do think there is the possibility that were you to take a low dose of an anti-depressant you may not need to take it for very long.

Customer:

We have a history of drug/alcohol dependence and depression in my family so I am quite reluctant to take any drug. As soon as I start feeling bad I try not to drink also.

Dr. L :

These are just my thoughts...you must make a decision based on what you believe is best for you.

Dr. L :

I can understand your hesitation on the medication. I'm glad you don't drink when you feel low...that's great!

Customer:

It is good for me to get my thoughts of my chest so even being able to ask the question/get some feedback has made me feel a lot better. I definitely need some kind of therapy to deal with my issues about my mum and relationships ect I just am not sure when.

Customer:

Thanks for your help. I will get and read that book and see how I feel afterwards.

Dr. L :

I'm glad you are finding this helpful.

Customer:

It has been good to get this stuff off my chest thanks mate.

Customer:

how do I mark this chat as useful?

Dr. L :

You are very welcome!

Customer:

nm I found it

Customer:

: )

Dr. L :

Okay!

Dr. L :

Take care!

Customer:

You too

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