My son (age 54) exhibits symptoms of being bi-polar. He is not violent in nature, but verbally abusive.His attitude and disrespect has hampered his being able to sustain relationships, public employment and family ties. He is my son and I refuse to give up on him. We recently set him up in business (my husband and I) and we volunteer at the store 3 days a week to try and help him succeed. I have a great time, at the store, chatting and helping the ladies find suitable apparel, which attributes to about 85% of the revenue. My son is very likable and pleasant 90% of the time, but that 10% is making it very uncomfortable for me to work with him. My husband highly resents the rude way he talks to me, and says so, when he is being disrespectful and he verbally turns on my husband. He does not use foul language, just his rude way of talking to us and the reasons for his rudeness, in our opinion, is unwarrented. He appears grateful and appreciative for what we are doing for him and we are even more grateful, to get him out of our pocketbook. We are trying to help him become independent and he is actually a very hard worker and seems to get along well with the customers. Being in business for himself eliminates his having to get along with a "boss" or authority figure, which has been one of his major problems. Our dilemma, we want to stop our volunteer service at the store, but still maintain a cordial relationship with our son. How do we break the news to him that we want out, with out making him feel abandoned or disappointed? At this point, we would rather help him financially, if need be, than be around him, in an atmosphere where he has the opportunity to verbally abuse us. Please Help!!!!
Yes indeed, you have helped tremendously! I was, so at a loss as how to handle this situation. I feel certain that your advice will be very helpful in making this transition. I will follow it to the letter and feel good that my son will be more receptive to the manner you described. I will taper off, giving him the time to adjust and let him know that I am proud of him and his accomplishments..and truly I am. I want him to be successful and he really is a good person. Thank you for taking the time to read into our situation and give the best advice possible. You are a jewel.
Kate, I promised to use your expert advice to the letter, and I have done just that, with GREAT results! Things are so much better, mainly because you gave me a different outlook and procedures to use in dealing with a very delicate situation. Now realizing no situation is "ideal" and no one is "perfect" I have to work with the "hand that I am dealt" and with your help, it is a win, win for the entire family, helping them to see their brother in a different light. Making him feel "important" even though he does not have the graduate degrees that they have. That has been a contention, as well, but I have shared your thoughts with them, and they are receptive. Again, I say, you are a precious Gem! Thanks for the follow-up. Just Answer did advise me, however, that with my premium subscription, that I was only allowed one or two questions in the mental health category.