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Ask Dr. L Your Own Question

Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
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Looking for a therapist who can do more than talk therapy about

Resolved Question:

Looking for a therapist who can do more than talk therapy about orgasms. I am a 52 year old woman and can only achieve orgasm through my own touch. I would like to learn more about my body to achieve an orgasm by my partner. I have talked about this in therapy for years, read books and tried a number of things, so far have not reached this goal. I am sure much of it is mental, maybe some physical, would hypnotism help?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Customer:

great

Dr. L :

Yes...hypnosis by a qualified psychologist or therapist who lists hypnosis as a specialty would be well worth trying. Hypnosis could help you let go of the emotional and even physical barriers that you have constructed.

Customer:

Awesome, I am glad that is an option

Customer:

Any other therapies you are aware of? What about these direct sex therapists were they do the physical work with you?

Customer:

My partner lives out of state so I cannot do this work with him and we realize it is about me, not us.

Dr. L :

Yes...I understand.

Dr. L :

Do you see him often?

Dr. L :

Well...another possibility would be Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). This uses some of the same principles of hypnosis, but is different. Please see: www.emdr.org

Dr. L :

to learn more about this.

Dr. L :

Yes...a sex therapist is another option.

Dr. L :

You are talking about a sex surrogate. Here is a link to certified sex surrogates:

Dr. L :

http://www.surrogatetherapy.org/

Dr. L :

Of the 3 strategies we have talked about...each has its pros and cons.

Dr. L :

Is there more I can help you with?

Customer:

can i get your pros and cons on each and then i can make a decision based on that?

Dr. L :

Yes...most certainly

Dr. L :

Hypnosis:

Dr. L :

Pros - likely to work very quickly, should not be difficult to find a qualified individual, not require a lot of emotional work

Dr. L :

Cons - if you live in a small town or rural area it might be hard to find a qualified individual in your own backyard. Would need to be very, very clear with the individual about what you have experienced and what specific change you are wanting

Customer:

live in a large metro area mpls/st paul wont be an issue

Dr. L :

EMDR - Pros: a short-term process of minimum 3 sessions - more if you have experienced trauma or abuse. Many good EMDR therapists in Mpls/St. Paul. This is a highly regarded therapy. Effectiveness could be a little less than hypnosis.

Dr. L :

Cons: It is critical that you find a EMDR therapist with the highest level of EMDR training and years of experience! Many have taken the training at its basic level - you want someone more skilled then that. Second, it is critical that they have worked with clients with the same goal as you...help with sexual functioning. In EMDR, skill is everything.

Dr. L :

Sex Surrogate:

Dr. L :

Pros: Would have "live" experience that allows you to work out the issue to your satisfaction.

Dr. L :

Cons: Might be difficult to find the right person to work with. However, with the Department of Human Sexuality at the U of M..you might be able to rely on them as a resource. This might be a costly solution.

Dr. L :

How does this sound?

Customer:

Do costs on all 3 types vary? Am I hearing you say that effectiveness of hypnosis is greater?Okay, this has been an awesome discussion! Thank you!

Dr. L :

Yes...costs may vary. For EMDR and hypnosis it will depend on what that individual charges per session. The "going" rate for therapy is $150 to $160 per hour. I am sorry, but I have no costs for sex surrogates. Please see the website I provided to see if they list that. Also...remember the U of MN - they might have data on costs.

Dr. L :

Yes..hypnosis would be better than EMDR in terms of effectiveness. I have no information on sex surrogate effectiveness...again U of MN might have that. Sorry about that...

Customer:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!!!

Dr. L :

I am glad you are finding our chat helpful!

Dr. L :

You are very, very welcome.

Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1166
Experience: Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
Dr. L and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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