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Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1165
Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
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My childs father was not involved in her life at all the first

Customer Question

My childs father was not involved in her life at all the first 3 years. He finally made contact last. DEC.and we began what I thought would be regular visits. He saw her 4times in 6 months but has stopped any ccommunication with us since May of last yesterday. She is devastated and has cried for him several times in the past few months. I'm wondering how I handle this, and if therapy would help u
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

Your daughter may be feeling abandoned by her father.

Customer:

Hi

Dr. L :

And...that kind of abandonment at such a young age truly would benefit from therapy.

Dr. L :

At her age, there is very little way to understand where daddy is and why he isn't with her.

Customer:

How do I go about starting that?

Dr. L :

I will give you a website to help you locate a child psychologist.

Dr. L :

Please see;

Dr. L :

www.psychologytoday.com

Dr. L :

At the top you will see an icon: Find a therapist

Dr. L :

Put in the name of your city or zip code and you will be given a list of therapists. On the right hand side of the therapist list you will see that you can select the specialty.

Customer:

Okay I will do that....thanks

Dr. L :

You are very welcome.

Dr. L :

Is there anything else I can help you with this evening?

Customer:

Just wondering how I should respond to her questions.

Dr. L :

Hello...someone your original question has been opened a second time. I will check to see what has happened.

Dr. L :

Thank you.

Dr. L :

*somehow

Dr. L :

I have written to JustAnswer to take a look at what has happened and to restore our chat.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

Our chat has been restored.

Dr. L :

As to your question: How should I respond to her questions.

Dr. L :

I can certainly understand what a difficult position this puts you in. The truth of the matter is that you do not know why dad stopped communicating - and there could be lots of reasons...he could be ill, he could be away working, he may feel guilty about those years he was not in communication, he may have moved on to another relationship, he may feel that he cannot be the type of dad she deserves, and so forth. Until he tells YOU what made him stop..you have no clear understanding of this either.

Dr. L :

I believe in 100% honesty. It would be harmful for you to create a "story" about dad by making excuses for why he is not communicating. Still..she needs - and deserves - to know the truth. And...that truth is that mom doesn't know why daddy has stopped seeing her. The key here is to follow that up immediately with...that even though daddy hasn't seen her in awhile he loves her and would be with her if he could. IF THAT IS THE TRUTH....meaning if you believe he does love her and if you believe that he would see her if he could. That "could" is based on your belief that there is some very good explanation for what has occurred.

Dr. L :

Please wait a minute. I see that you have attempted to close this chat and rated me poor. I have not posted my entire question and want to do all I can to satisfy you.

Dr. L :

I take my work very seriously and a poor rating mars my good reputation.

Dr. L :

Would you please let me know why you have rated me this way and what I can do to give you better assistance?

Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1165
Experience: Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
Dr. L and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for changing your rating. And please...if there is more I can help you with...please let me know.

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