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i'm at my "witts - end". i'm 60 year old male, widowed, retired. live alone with my dog. i have suffered from depression, anxiety and related disorders for thirty years. iv'e taken every drug; talk therapy; emdr; ect; ces; nothing has really helped other than tranquilzers to calm me down. i don't enjoy anything . i'm fatigued most of the day. i often feel like giving up. i v'e tried every thing dr's and therapist suggested, i.e. exercize, voluteering, etc. i force my self to do these and not only do they not help they tend to make me more anxious and depressed. i v'e been to many, many psychiatrists and therapists. what other options do i have. thanks
I would like to help you with your question.
I can understand your total frustration after having tried many, many different remedies to address your depression, anxiety, and other disorders.
can we swith to the other format. thanks
You would rather do Q & A?
I will do that immediately...
well, i would refer to my original situation and question.
my wife died in 1996. we had been separated for 3 years. we weren't even good roommates. had no contact. however, i was devistated when she got ill and eventually died . i sobbed for months which was not typical of me.she was not very compassionate about my condition. she often used the phraze "self- fullfilling proficy and that i was bring on my condition.
we had no children.
not new since wife died.
xanax and clonopin have helped with anxiety. but, it seems that most doc's have become conservative about prescribing benzo's. and i am vigilant about not taking more than reccommended dose. emdr didn't help; i think talk therapy has not helped much other than making me aware that i was passive/aggressive in relationships. at times it has helped me reframe how i think but, i just don't seem to internalise those thoughts. and, it gave me a venue to express my feelings.
iv'e rethought your question about condition being new since wife died. i would mostly say yes. i don't recall having intense feelings life was meaningless an future hopeless.
all of the above. i still obess about all the years i tried to make relationship work; all the years i stayed in meaningless relationship. the only thing iv'e come away with through therapy was that deb was my first love and i grieved for that specialness and; i was just not strong enough nor prepared to leave.
iv'e had some major traumas as a child, adolescent. i was verbally, emotionly, physically, and sexully abused by cathoilic nuns and priests. i was also physically abused by 2 brothers, one 4 years older, one 4 years younger. my prevolent and long lasting was being suffocated with a pillow by my older brother. this might happen daily, some times weekly. it started as far back as i can remember (age 3 or 4). when my brother was in high school and away at college it didn't happen very often but, i do have a memory of us at a lake when i was 18 and he 22. i have recently started recalling other things he did; like get me in choke holds and made me yell "give or uncle". also, locked me in closets and tell me the boogy man was in there. he loved to tell me it was time for my daily torture. through therapy i realized he could have killed me. emdr didn't help with this.
in 2005, i litigated against the priest and church. in compiling my interogatories; i compiled that i had seen over 40 therapists and 12 psychiatrist. obviously some for not very long but, i times i was so depressed and anxious and suicidal i was seeing 3 therapists at same time period and they not knowing.
i'm not sure about not internalizing. i work hard at therapy. i do every thing they tell me ; i journal; read books; listen to tapes; open up.
i assume your idea - " is that i go it alone . iv'e thought of that and at times have gone alone especially during and after a bad bout of depression/anxiety in college. i was reasonably happy as a child (even though i never felt safe at home or at school). my first major depression was in college. i didn't really know what was going on; didn't seek treatment; didn't know how or where to get help. once i finished college i felt a great weight off my back. the rest of the '70's i was fairly happy. it seems like a lot of mental issues started to happen once deb and i became a couple in 1980.. i think right now therapy is helping me and validating what iv'e been through. plus, at times i feel so down, hopeless and, at times suicidal that my therapist is the only one who helps me feel grounded if only for a short while.
thank you. i am willing to give emdr another try. my therapist is not trained in emdr and i think he wasn't sure who is in my city. how might i go about finding a trained therapist.
i want to try light therapy to help with mood and sleep cycle. light boxes or bulbs are alot cheaper than they were years ago especially on amazon.com. can you recommend how many lumens and whatever else i should look for in a light therapy devise. thanks
thanks for your response. was there a link for the mayo article. p.s. just curious. why the need for dr. supervision.