Thanks for your question.
It's definitely a good thing that you've been able to identify this problem, and that will help you to avoid destroying relationships now and in the future. It sounds like are looking for him to express his love for you in the ways that would make you most comfortable, and when he doesn't do that, I can see how that would make you feel angry, betrayed, and vulnerable. Part of getting past this is allowing yourself to trust your current boyfriend, and accepting that despite not showing his love in the way you most like to receive it, that doesn't mean that he loves you any less.
After having been through an abusive relationship, it can be hard to build up that level of trust in someone. It is actually possible to start to sabotage good relationships as you grow closer, because that can be a very scary feeling if the last person you trusted abused you, and it is easy to become very anxious at the first sign that something may be wrong. It sounds like you have made a lot of progress in getting through some of these issues, and I'd encourage you to continue on that path. Getting past the point where some of these negative thoughts stop surfacing can take some time, however, the more you are able to keep it all in perspective and continue to try and put your trust in people you know are trustworthy, the easier it will become over time.
Right now it may help to talk to your boyfriend and acknowledge that you've been struggling on this. If he can have more patience with you when you have these insecurities, that can be a big help. Unfortunately this is likely a problem that is the result of things that happened prior to this relationship, so if he can avoid taking it personally and work with you, that can make a big difference and solidify that trust.
I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.