Hello Ron. Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.
In what you have written, you describe the destructive triangle that is often present when there is intense marital conflict and unfortunately, your son is in the middle of this and the faster you and your wife act as reasonable parents to get this resolved-the better for all concerned.
To say whether your wife has a personality disorder cannot be answered ethically, because I do not know her but this can be determined by the courts if a forensic psychological examination is ordered.
The most important thing to focus on is the welfare of your son and I trust that you have addressed the issue of her denying health benefits with Children and Family Service agencies or sought legal counsel in relationship to such as this may be considered neglect depending on the laws of your state.
If you need assistance identifying children and family resources, simply let me know your county and state and I will be happy to identify resources for you.
If you want to learn the details about specific personality disorders and diagnostic criteria- you will find it here:
I trust this will help get things on track. Again- feel free to respond as needed. I am happy to help.
Kindest regards, Bill
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