Thanks for your advise.
He told me today he was with some else a month after we broke up I asked him why and he said because he was pis*ed of and angry with the world . He has told me he loves me but things will be great for a few years and issues will arise again and is not willing to talk as does not want to get upset.
So for me that was the final straw. After 3.5 years together it seems so easy throw things away .I suppose grief can do funny things.